Book Excerpt: Zombie Blues 2: Diabetic Zombie

By and copyright of Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

                

Cover designed by Conaire McMullan

Diabetic Zombie

Holy shit I found the cure for diabetes!!

Of course, it did involve getting turned into a living dead rotting zombie. As my comic book friends you met earlier will tell you this revelation is like finding the very first issue of Amazing Fantasy #5 featuring Spiderman’s first appearance and finding two of the pages stuck together.

 Not good!

What has diabetes got to do with zombies? Easy. Mother Nature had a great plan but it has several flaws. Our bodies rot slowly except our teeth and gums. Those are our greatest weapon. It’s just a pity she doesn’t have enough cosmic power to ensure our entire bodies are sustained until her genocidal plan is carried to completion. It’s like putting a spanking super powered engine in an old banger. It’ll take you a while to get there but at least you can show off the engine.

There’s an equal irony as when I first got diagnosed with diabetes I was told that if untreated it would essentially rot me from the inside out. Believe it or not I immediately pictured myself as a zombie which makes me a trendsetter. This was in the days before zombies became popular thanks to that show from my friend from the last Zombie Blues wanted to be a part of. Now there was a case of be careful what you wish for. Of course, I’m not one to talk. I did picture my self as a diabetic zombie and here we are! What a bitch!

I was diagnosed at twenty five because I had a cut on my arse that wouldn’t heal. That was partially because I love to pick a scab so that would slow down any healing anyway. Don’t be turning your noses up at scab picking. There is not one of you out there that doesn’t love it. There’s just something about it that gives me a sense of pleasure. Knee scabs are the best; that tear of rough skin that makes your spine shiver as you pull it off just can’t be beaten. Well it’s not as if I pull the wings off butterflies is it?

Anyway, it was a lady doctor that day. I told her what was wrong and she asked me to drop the kecks. The macho part of me began opening my belt and sliding my jeans down with this image in my head she would take one look at me and start drooling. I could hear the Diet Coke advert theme play in my head as I then turned and pulled my boxers down. I could see the doctor bite her lower lip as she took in my toned buttocks. Her fingers played with her stethoscope in anticipation. In seconds we would be on her examination table, a scab the last thing on our minds. Yeah, my Perceptions Zombie friend hit the nail on the head. Little did I know diabetes can target your dick making a man’s greatest treasure as useful as a chocolate saucepan.

Of course the reality was she took one look, didn’t drool and just stated ‘you have diabetes’ before sitting back down at her desk. As I pulled my jeans back up I was slightly taken aback at the lack of reaction at the sight of my lower parts. Another part of me said she’d probably seen better hanging out a bird’s nest. Another part of me decided the doctor must not like men which was her loss.

But there it was. My life changed in one simple phrase.

Book Excerpt: The Time Warriors Venom

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

A brand new story from the Time Warriors series. A romantic weekend in the seaside town of Ballybraken is disturbed when an ancient evil rears its head intent on taking over the planet. What is the End? Who are Legion? And what lies hidden beneath the sea? The Time Warriors fall one by one leaving Earth at the mercy of an evil no one ever imagined existed.

Available on Amazon now!

“Question is, are we dealing with a Salem’s Lot vamp or a Twilight one,” Tyran added. “I know which one I’m hoping for.”

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Nathaniel tensed, looking in the direction of the sound.

“Relax,” Varran reassured him. “It’s my friend. Michael, if you would…” he trailed, nodding for him to answer it and let Jacke in.

“Do I look like a doorman?” he retorted, getting to his feet.

He barely registered just how cold the metal door handle was to his touch as he turned it to open it.

“Come on in, you’re missing all the good stuff,” he said cheerily, stepping back to let them enter. When they didn’t move, Michael’s scalp crawled in warning. His eyes widened as he looked at the doorway.

Three figures stood in the evening shadow motionless. He squinted to make out any features but they wore shadow like hoods. From the silhouettes he saw Jacke was at the front and flanked by two larger figures which he instinctively knew were Stephan and Dylan.

Alarm bells sounded making Michael back away, his actions alerting the others as they leapt to their collective feet.

Nathaniel grabbed a torch from a side board and aimed its beam at the three shadows. The yellow beam lit up Jacke’s face. They saw the black veins snaking across her face and the black orbs that were her eyes glaring right at them devoid of all human emotion. With a quick flick of his wrist he saw the others were just like her. Varran noted they were all soaking wet. He ducked sideways as the others reacted.

“Michael, back away now!” urged Tyran, grabbing a candle stick. “Bet nobody thought to bring weapons,” she bit, backing round the table.

With a hiss and a burst of speed, Jacke shot forward, leaping across the table in one movement, taloned hands reaching for Nathaniel’s throat. Stephen and Dylan burst in going for the others. Tyran swung the stick as Stephen grabbed the lapel of her jacket, catching him on the head. He barely flinched and secured his hold on her, mouth opening and closing on hers.

Paralysed by his sheer bulk Tyran had never felt so helpless, desperately trying to pull away from that hideous mouth. She knew the result wouldn’t be good if she let him near her.

Nathaniel had Jacke by the throat and was able to smash her into Stephen, freeing Tyran. Catching her hand, he pulled Tyran clear. Michael was being held down over the table by Dylan whose mouth was opening. Like super gymnasts, Jacke and Stephen launched themselves at their prey again. 

Tyran managed to punch Jacke in the face, immediately apologising as she went down. In a second, Jacke had twisted her back impossibly as she went on all fours, hissing at them, fangs gleaming like pearly white knives.

Michael yelled in fear as Dylan’s mouth closed on his. Tyran and Nathaniel backed away helplessly as their former friends crept closer, almost as if they knew their prey had nowhere to run and were milking every last ounce of evil from the moment.

“Why couldn’t they be Twilight vampires?” Tyran grumbled trying to show no fear but her pumping heart betrayed her, fists pounding uselessly.

They could see Michael kicking uselessly under Dylan’s weight and knew they were defenceless.

All they could see were hungry fangs, dead void eyes and knew they had failed.

TW watches Pumpkinhead

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Vengeance be thy name

Cinema is filled with monsters and creatures of all shapes and sizes but in 1988 came a movie that has become a classic yet not everyone knows about it. Like many monsters that seem to reappear despite being killed off, this monster can return again and again thanks to the darker side of the human soul. When the laws of man fail to deliver justice, you call on Pumpkinhead.

Pumpkinhead stars Aliens legendary Lance Henriksen. The movie is a simple take of vengeance and the price that comes with it. Man’s law exists for a reason and the reason is that you get to live hopefully a long life even with the pain. The Pumpkinhead creature itself was built by the great Stan Winston and is a simple and evocative creation. When it is on screen your attention is held because it has a life of its own. This is especially noticeable in the church scene when it looks at the crucifix and smirks evilly before smashing it aside.

Henriksen plays store owner Ed Harley, a single father rearing his son Billy. While Ed is out delivering feed to a local farmer, Billy is killed by a drunk teenager on a dirt bike, Joel played by SeaQuest’s John D’Aquino. Joel is a bully already in trouble with the law and forces the others with him to flee the scene without calling for help leaving Billy lying in the dirt. Sadly for them, it’s terminal guilt by association in Pumpkinhead’s eyes. When Ed returns and finds his dead son along with one of the teenagers, Ed loses it. As a child he himself saw Pumpkinhead kill a man who had wronged someone. Despite being warned not to do it, Ed bribes a kid to show take him to a local witch who lives in a swamp.

She can’t help him. All she can do is take you straight to hell.

Haggis is simply one of the best and creepiest witches ever to grace the silver screen. Her deep raspy Southern accent and home filled with mysterious jars and animals doesn’t exactly spell hygiene. Her appearance is that of a classic fairytale witch; wrinkled, long thinning hair and walks with a slight stoop. I’m happy to say I can do a great Haggis impersonation. If we ever meet I’ll do it for you.

Haggis warns Ed that there will be a price to pay if he summons Pumpkinhead but Ed is too gripped by grief to listen, even when Billy pops up alive in a jump scare moment. Ed’s digs up the foetus-like body of Pumpkinhead from a creepy old graveyard deep within Razorback Hollow. It is a graveyard where people buried family members they were ashamed of so it lies forgotten and unspoken of. It is also the perfect place to store a demon. Using Ed’s blood, Haggis brings the demon to life and the hunt is now on. Even though Joel killed Billy, everyone in his party is marked for death.

What Ed doesn’t realise is that he is telepathically linked to the demon so he sees and feels the death of anyone it kills. Ed wants it to stop but Haggis cannot stop it. It takes on Ed’s face and ultimately there is only one way to stop Pumpkinhead from killing innocent people. Ed must die.

“God damn you! God damn you”

“He already has, Ed Harley. He already has.”

He comes to realise that one man’s justice is a death sentence for an innocent. They say the greatest monster is the one you never knew existed and when Pumpkinhead kills the first victim, they assume it is the Devil. He is not gentle in how he kills people either. The weird rattlesnake and cicada sound effect heralding the demon’s presence burns into your mind as each victim falls. Pumpkinhead is not evil by nature. It is simply obeying its nature; to avenge those who have been wronged. It will not stop until it has completed its task. Whatever dark forces created it, deny it free will. It is simply reflecting the smug satisfaction the we all feel when we see someone get their comeuppance whether it be playing with Joel’s dead body or smirking as a girlfriend watches her lover being dragged off. Pumpkinhead stands for the dark vengeful impulses we all have when it comes to justice. We hate to see sex offenders or murderers get off from some legal technicality or walk free because of lack of evidence. Many people live with no justice for their loved ones so the church scene where Pumpkinhead berates the cross and smashes it to pieces is a reaction to the lack of God’s intervention. We all curse God for letting injustice and bad things happen in the world but Pumpkinhead is not bound by any such feelings. He will avenge those who cannot avenge themselves. When it does it simply returns to its embryo form nd reburied in the graveyard waiting until it is summoned once more. All of the locals stay in their homes and ignore the cries for help. No one will stand with you against Pumpkinhead. In their eyes you are getting what you deserve.

Pumpkinhead is a classic movie that spawned several dismal sequels, a couple of which saw Lance Henriksen return as the ghost of Ed Harley warning the foolish about Pumpkinhead. The wonderful thing about the first one is that it truly shows Stan Winston’s great gift; later movies used a half-arsed suit and even CGI. Pumpkinhead is not scary at all when created in a computer. There was even a comic book spin-off and there are several action figures and statuettes that are stunning and really reflect the character at its best. With CGI these days it is possible that a Pumpkinhead reboot could happen and I would welcome it as long as it’s the quality of the original and the best.

Dublin Comic Con Announces Star Trek Guest

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Dublin Comic Con Summer 2023 have announced their latest tenth year anniversary guest as actress Christina Chong. She plays La’an Noonien Singh in Star Trek Strange New Worlds. Christina has also appeared in Line of Duty, Black Mirror and Nightfall. She played Lorna in one of the best Matt Smith episodes in Doctor Who, When A Good Man Goes To War. She helped the Doctor and his friends save Amy and her baby.

Get your toikets today and I’m sure the USS Cuchulain crew will invite her onto their bridge at some point on that August weekend.

Clik on the link below https://www.tixr.com/groups/comicconireland/events/dublin-comic-con-summer-edition-2023-53861

Damien Larkin’s Blood Red Steel coming October 2023

Presented by Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Blood alone decides the fate of Mars

For two years, the Mars Expeditionary Force has held the line against the last remnants of the Third Reich. McCabe, Jenkins, and the Second Battalion long for home. Reinforcements have arrived, but the veterans of the MEF have one final mission. Defend Forward Base Zulu at all costs.

While Generalfeldmarschall Brandt plans a decisive showdown at Forward Base Zulu, Reichsführer Wagner celebrates the activation of the first generation of the Hollow Programme. Surrounded and cut off, McCabe and Jenkins once again find themselves in league with the MAJESTIC-12 operatives known as the Black Visors. Now the future hinges on the sacrifices of a few determined soldiers.

270 pages, Paperback

Expected publication October 3, 2023

Book Excerpt: The Time Warriors Soul Scream

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Cover by Bradley Wind

Soul Scream is part of the Time Warriors The Voalox Horror book. It is a Jacke story and involves the Warriors dealing with an alien colony harbouring a secret.

The corridor closed in around her as she fled barefoot down the riveted metal floor. She could hear it breathing, its stench that of rotting meat.

Her white nightdress clung to her figure. It was hot, the treacle air clawing at her, making her sweat profusely. Yet she could see her breath fogging as if she were running on a winter’s morning.

It was close behind and she felt the ceiling pressing down.

The corridor was long, a dull grey colour with sickly jaundice light from the inbuilt overhead junctions. The hexagonal shape reminded her of a bee hive. Always had but the Juggernaught had been built by the military for war. A hive mind at best.

Soothing the senses was not a high priority. The heavy bulkhead door reared before her like a metal sentry. She screamed in frustration as she slapped the controls on the left side but although the light turned green, it refused to budge as if it was working with the thing pursuing her.

It couldn’t be seen yet but its presence carved the air with a deep dread, its evil seeping up through the very pores of the station as it sought out its prey, without remorse, without conscience. A thick fog oozed into the passage as the temperature rose, sweat blinding her.

Its breathing intensified, calling her by name.

She screamed at it to go away but it gurgled mockingly, telling her to be afraid as it tasted her fear and drank it like water. It would take great pleasure in ripping her flesh and gnawing on her bones.

She could feel the darkness surge closer as the light dipped to a deep red. The fog thickened, dragging at her bare feet as the heat increased with the hissing.

It grated her ear drums and seemed to creep into her mind through every pore. It was close, getting closer. She threw herself back against the wall. She’d face it head on, knowing there was no chance of surviving. Her hair stuck to her face as she blindly wiped it back. She felt something warm and sticky on her hands.

Jumping, she looked at them in the hazy mist filled light and saw blood running like a tap down her arms. She screamed as the bulk head door exploded into a million molten flaming shards and the thing roared in excitement.

It was seven feet tall, draped in a hooded black gown, torn and splattered with bits of flesh and blood. Its face was in blackness but she could glimpse the flash of fangs curled back in a sadistic grin.

Long, slender hands covered in pale flaky parchment skin flexed slivery talons as she fell to her knees, covered in blood and sweat.

There was no escape.

The air screamed, the walls flowed with blood and the thing raised its arms triumphantly. It threw back its cowl and opened a maw filled with dagger fangs, ready to tear her apart. It leapt….

And Jacke jumped straight up in bed with a scream sweating. Her chest heaving fearfully. Her eyes darted round her dimly lit room checking for monsters. There was none. She lay back and pulled the lilac quilt tightly round her shaking body, frightened tears running onto her pillow.

Varran’s face was lit by the glow from the communications monitor. He was smiling as a figure appeared onscreen, its face also broken by a wide smile.

“Good morning Citizen Veloras,” Varran said, his voice dipped with respect, giving a slight inclination of his white haired head.

Veloras acknowledged the gesture. He was seated in a blue plastic seat in a sand walled chamber, the background window framed by a pair of grey drapes that Varran thought really were a terrible colour. But then Veloras was hardly a great advert for taste and colour coordination.

 Dressed in an orange shirt and grey trousers tucked into what Varran could only compare to a pair of ankle high winkle pickers, Veloras’ podgy face belayed a receding grey hairline above wide hazel eyes which seemed ghosted over but twinkled none the less. His hands were pocked marked with light brown liver spots and a thick covering of hair that extended beyond his cuff line.

His broad boxer nose gave the impression it had melted sideways and his skin tone, like the other Morda they had met, had the look of someone who had overdosed on a spray tan.

“Good morning to you too,” droned the overweight man, the phrase stumbling slightly on his lips like a tourist asking directions. “I’m just calling to invite you to breakfast with me. I can’t imagine that space station thing of yours has a wide and satisfying effect on the stomach.” He sniffed almost disapprovingly. “I can smell military a decon away.” That smile again.

Varran caught his attitude and silently thought nasty thoughts. His people were out breaking their backs to establish this new colony for these people and all Veloras could think of was what to stuff down his gullet.

Keeping his distaste contained, Varran politely declined saying he had to meet Michael and Tyran on the surface to make sure the computer systems were installed properly at the new school.

Education had always come first on Xereba and here was no different. Knowledge was the best weapon in the universe and like the universe itself, learning was an ever expanding state. Veloras seemed insulted, his smile wavering beneath a slight frown but he quickly recomposed his smile, unaware Varran had noticed.

“Of course, of course,” Veloras nodded, crossing his hands on the speckled desk before him and shifting in his seat. He leaned closer to the monitor, giving his best leader pose. “The settling of the Mordan colony is paramount and your help is greatly appreciated. Your assistance has vastly speeded up our time table. We shall meet later.” With a curt nod, the channel cut off.

Varran sat back in his black padded chair thoughtfully. They had intercepted a transmission from the Mordan colony ship to the company below, an angry exchange at the timetable being behind schedule and they only had less than eight shifts to complete and depart.

From what he had learned, Varran knew eight shifts were roughly six days in the human calendar. The exchanges had seemed urgent and fraught with concern.

 Caught up in a burning curiosity and obligation to help Varran had posed as a passing traveller en route to his home world and jumped the Juggernaught into orbit of the new colony named Paldoria. Those engine adaptions the Etherians had given him were a godsend and he quietly thanked them. They could now cross vast distances of space in minutes.

Citizen Veloras had seemed cautious at first before accepting Varran’s offer of help. Their aim was to expand their territory and this was the latest stage of that plan. A new colony whose inhabitants were true and loyal people with very strong beliefs in family and tradition. It was deeply rooted in their lives and was almost a religion to them.

In order for their civilisation to survive and grow, the children were given only the best of everything; top education, fantastic physical development and certain holidays were family based, designed to enhance and procure the familial unit.

In a way, Varran was jealous as his world was gone and took scant comfort in the fact he was teaching virtually the same principles to Jacke, Michael and Tyran. Varran had been escorted through the rising streets on a number of occasions and had been impressed by the arduous commitment of the population as they erected the metal and stone walled shelters, a hospital, a school, education centres and homes for the sixty three families relocated here.

Except for their skin colouring, the Mordans were physically similar to the humans and Xerebans and exhibited the same drive and ambition when it came to reaching their goals and making dreams a reality. But there was something niggling at the back of his mind, something he couldn’t quite pinpoint but could it be he saw something of himself in these people as they struggled to build a new life on an alien world.

Book Excerpt: Zombie Blues Dog Lover Zombie

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriros and Zombie Blues

Being a dog lover is totally twisted when you become a zombie. Buy Zombie Blues on Amazon to read the whole story. Dog Lover Zombie is part of Zombie Blues book one.

Cover by Conaire McMullan

Dog Lover Zombie

On the morning after the zombie outbreak, I had been watching the news about the uprising. I could scarcely believe it. It was like watching a horror movie but the fact was, this was real. The dead were rising up and attacking us. How widespread it was remained a mystery for sure. Of course as you all know by now only a select few billion or so of us know the real reason for the outbreak.

Social media was in meltdown. Everything was clogged with conflicting reports and rumours. I worried about my sister’s whereabouts and their families. If nothing else, they were resourceful but against this….I wasn’t so sure.

Then I heard the dogs going mad in the compound, a defensive noise that I knew so well from my years with them. Every bark signifies a different mood or emotion. The trick is just listening to identify which one. This was trouble.

I ran outside and across the yard of the clinic and skidded to a halt. There were about seven zombies pulling at the wire fences trying to get at the dogs who were in a complete frenzy, snarling and barking at them. I could see they were from the town. They were people I knew, some of which had their animals treated by me. There was Jason Burr, the butcher, Sally Evans, the estate agent, Old Granny Wick, the town gossip and a couple of others whose names I couldn’t remember due to passing acquaintance. Damn, it’s on our doorstep, I realised.

 Picking up a shovel, I leapt into the fray, swinging, knocking heads as I went. I had to let the dogs out so they could run or attack. I managed to get the gates open and there was a flurry of four legged tornados as some ran in fear while others attacked the zombies. It gave me a chance to reach the other compounds and free the dogs there.  When I saw packs of them attack the undead, I grew complacent. I never saw the other one come up behind me until I felt it grip me in a steel like vice. I briefly thought how strong zombies were before I roared in pain as it sank its teeth into my shoulder. I turned for a moment and saw it was young Dave Turner, the son of the local grocery store owner. He came in for another bite when a collie, Lucy, smashed him aside. I fell, uselessly trying to stop the blood pouring from the wound before passing out.

Well by now you know the score. Woke up, Mother Nature, chicken, yadda, yadda. But this was different.

One of the dogs had stayed by my side, a Labrador named Sally. She had come from an abused background and I had a real hard time making her comfortable round humans again. She sat whining, paws out front as I came to, blood burning as the zombie curse flooded through me.

Suddenly this was not Sally in front of me. It was a giant chicken. I reached out to her and she thought she was going to get a cuddle. I couldn’t help it. I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and took a bite from her neck.

 Inwardly I screamed in horror. This was one of my babies, truly my best friend and here I was chewing down on her like a lunch time special. I felt sick as Sally screamed, our pain matching each other. I loved these animals, they were part of my psyche and here I was a victim of Mother Nature’s cruelty. I don’t know what is worse for me: the fact I now can’t control myself and just want to devour every dog left or seeing the horror in Sally’s eyes as I betrayed her trust before taking her life.

Somehow this kick started something in me. I know I’m programmed to eat humans and all other life-forms but for some reason, Mother Nature has made me crave dog flesh more. I’m like an undead torpedo seeking out dog life-forms more than humans. I can’t help myself and I curse the big MN for making me like this.

TV Magic Moments: 4th Doctor’s Regeneration

By Owen Quinn; author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

copyright bbc

On March 1st 1981 at roughly just after 5.30 pm, a true era ended heralding a new and exciting one for Doctor Who. Tom Baker left the role of Doctor Who after seven years, regenerating into Peter Davison as the fifth Doctor.

The reason it is a magic moment for me is because I remember it vividly 32 years later in every detail. But more importantly it was a real family moment.

I was plonked on the floor in front of the television watching the final episode of Logopolis, the fourth Doctor’s final adventure. In an unholy alliance with the newly resurrected Master (Anthony Ainley), the Dpctor races to stop the universe being destroyed under a massive entropy wave. His companion Nyssa’s home world of Traken has already been destroyed and time is short. But the Master has other plans. He and the Doctor fight miles above the ground before the Doctor stops him, falling to his death in the process.

As his new companions of Nyssa, Adric and Tegan gather round his broken body, the fourth Doctor smiles at them and tells them the end has been prepared for before merging with the mysterious Watcher and regenerating into the fifth Doctor.

I remember it so well because as I said, I was on the floor, my mother was sitting in her armchair behind me and my Dad and his friend were talking at the table. Some of my siblings were there playing. It was the chatter of a normal mad household but when the fourth Doctor fell, there was silence. All eyes turned to the television, it was as if we were witnessing a monumental moment on history.

As the faces of old companions called to the Doctor from the past, and he disappeared in a white chrysalis, everyone in the room was mesmerised. And therein lay the magic. My father was not a sci-fi fan and neither was his friend. None of my siblings were either.

And yet, here we were all sitting in silence watching the fourth Doctor fade away as a family; just as the producers always intended. That’s what burned that into my memory for the rest of time and that is true magic.