Matti Toivanen’s Amid Darkness on sale now

Presented By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Available in paperback and kindle on Amazon

Synopsis:

Adhancing or body modifications are part of life on planet Shirama but are strictly forbidden for military use.

Diana thought she was fighting for the right side until she found something hidden beneath Terfieman castle. The discovery shattered all that she believed about right and wrong. Taking action led her to a new realization – righteous is not always the best way to go.

Can she survive the ugly truth, or will she have to redefine what right and wrong means in a world where hidden secrets become the biggest threats to existence?

About the Author

Matti Toivanen, is the author of two self-published science fiction/space opera books: “The Voyager Series: Land We Left Behind” and “The Voyager Series: Amid Darkness.”

Explore the depths of faraway galaxies and fly with him into unique stories in the process. He’s currently working on the third installment of the series. Soar with him through unforgettable stories on the journey through the stars, to bring space opera to life in The Voyager Series!

Practical nurse by the day, and a writer by night.

Book Excerpt: Zombie Blues: Cross Dresser Zombie

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Cover by Conaire McMullan

CROSS DRESSER ZOMBIE

The day the zombies rose will be remembered for just that; the rise of the zombies.

But for me, it was the day I could shed my skin and be the person I had always wanted to be for the entire world to see. Just like everything else in my life, the timing sucked.

Now my undead ass is walking the city without even the dignity of the heels I had chosen. My left shoe is missing while the right one seems stuck on with its broken heel. I think my ankle is twisted though or I have a cracked toe. Now when I walk, all 6 foot of my bulky frame is up and down like an Amsterdam tart. Add to that my wig is twisted on my head so the right side of my face has a permanent auburn covering, I look like Frankenstein’s frigging granny. Instead of becoming a butterfly, I became something that was slapped up the face with a frying pan.

But I digress. Let me start at the beginning which also became my end. 

First up, my name is Frank Malone, resident of Belfast all my life. I have never married but shagged my way round the town. I came close a couple of times but never bothered. I play darts, love a pint and the craic with the lads. I’m a cage fighter and charity worker. I’ve a hard man rep, afraid of no-one and would knock the bollocks clean out of anyone that looked at me the wrong way.  When people look at me they see the black leather jacket, baldy head and the gold chains. They see a hardman.

But when I look in the mirror I see someone else entirely. No-one knows, no-one has ever even suspected, not even my ma, and she’s sharp as a pin. At forty six, it’s not a big deal these days but it reduces me to jelly to think if anyone found out.

I like wearing women’s clothes. Simple as that.

Maybe I’ve always been this way. I’m not gay nor have any intentions of getting the three piece out and a gas oven put in. I like shagging but the feel of those clothes on my body just makes me so content. When I look at myself in the mirror in full get up, it’s my world. Problem is, that world has never left my bedroom or mouth. My ma stays out of my room because I bung her the money for bingo 4 times a week so I can become Majella. Those times when she isn’t there are heaven and I can try different outfits without fear of her walking in. Other people’s privacy is not a priority for my ma as most of you will probably identify with when it comes to mothers.

I’m not sure when it became part of me but it was always there. I never looked at my ma’s catalogue in the same way as she did. I flicked through the women’s section and wondered what it would feel like to be dressed as they were. It looked so elegant and comfortable that I yearned for it. But my body didn’t exactly shout model material. I was bald, hairy chest and back and caught between muscle and sagginess in the waist area.

 The first time I remember putting on a pair of knickers was when I was shagging Fiona Fisher when I was seventeen. I was staying at her place and been dating for a few months. As I said, I’m not gay. I love sex with women and Fiona was a goer. She would lick my bald head when she got excited and all I could picture was her slipping a wig on my bonnet. Anyway, I got up for a piss and was standing there trying to hit the side of the bowl so she couldn’t hear the crash of urine on water. (It sounds louder somehow at three in the morning.)

As I washed my hands, I saw knickers and a bra drying on the radiator.

My heart raced. My breathing quickened. The compulsion was too much. I had to do it. Trembling, I slipped her knickers on first and stared at myself in the mirror barely containing my excitement. They were far too small but it felt right. It felt normal to me. I slipped on her bra next even though it didn’t fit and couldn’t believe the rush I felt. This was what I had been missing all my life.

Story from Zombie Blues Volume 1 available here at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Zombie-Blues-Owen-Quinn/dp/1717802257/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=owen+quinn+zombie+blues&qid=1620480010&sr=8-1

Book Excerpt: Zombie Blues: No Dentures Zombie

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

More Zombies, more trouble. Welcome to book 2 of Zombie Blues who give us their view on the world and life from behind undead eyes. This time round meet Diabetic Zombie, Racist Zombie, the Ice Queen and why is there a zombie with no teeth?

Now available on Amazon

What a bitch to be a zombie with no teeth! But is everything as it seems? Read No Denture’s Zombie in Zombie Blues 2

Cover by Conaire McMullan

No Dentures Zombie

Here, wait til I tell ya something. Up until this bloody people coming back from the dead bollocks, the closest thing I ever got to something undead was the plucked foreskin coloured chicken in the fridge for the Sunday dinner.

Now, I’m wandering the roads like something that fell out of a pub after fifteen pints. Normally I wouldn’t mind, it’s not the first road I’ve walked drunk or sober. I had to walk four miles every day to work, rain and shine to feed my kids. The difference is I’m frigging eighty one. Can someone with a brain please tell me what in Jesus’ name would thon green haired bitch Mother Nature, need with a pensioner zombie?

 My bunions would be killing me if I could feel them plus I’m in my zebra patterned slippers I got for a fiver from the wee, cheap shoe shop in Castle Street. Add to that I’m wearing my pink and grey floral dress with my matching coal fluffy cardigan because at my age the once powerful veins are thinning and every day is bloody freezing. When it rains it clings to my ample frame like a Free Willy tribute show. My fashion sense is being ruined by this frigging weather. My perm and all’s ruined; twelve bloody quid with pensioner rates that cost me. Now I’m hanging like something that was twice dragged through the hedge backwards. These days I’m more badger’s arse than glamorous granny or my case great granny. I can’t even go to bingo any more; Jesus, the indignity of it all.

 Mother Nature destroyed the Belfast bingo halls!

Life’s tough enough without having no bingo to go to even if it does smell of piss and death. It used to smell of smoke too but they stopped indoor smoking so you have to stand outside now; frigging health huggers spoiling my fun. Winter nights do nothing for my hip and other aches and pains despite smelling the ten grand jackpot in my grasp.

If only I had thon green haired bitch Mother Nature by her turkey neck throat right now, I’d slap the mouth clean off her.

 My Jimmy would be scundered if he could see me now. I wish I had just died of natural causes like I was supposed to instead of ending up like this graveyard reject. At least then I’d be with my beloved Jimmy.

At the end of the day what was that scraggy bitch thinking? I understand she is angry at humanity for hurting her planet but in the name of God ,somebody tell me one thing.

What use is a zombie with no teeth?

 My dentures fell out when I turned and it’s not as if I could put them back in with these undead arthritic fingers. They did fall out once at Christmas dinner when I sneezed. It was either buy the veg for the dinner or a tube of Fixodent. I’m as much use as tits on a bull. What does Mother Nature want me to do now?

Suck people to death? Death by gumming?

I need a tramodol to tell this story; even as a zombie I have a headache. I usually share tablets with Lizzy from bingo but she was eaten. She used to walk round with a handbag like a chemist’s shop. No matter what ailment took you, Lizzy had a tablet for every occasion at the ready. Her handbag is still sitting beside her favourite chair in her living room but sure, this bloody zombie body doesn’t even have the sense to let me grab a few. It’s not as if Lizzy will need them any time soon. She died with a fish supper on her lap, mug of tea like varnish and two rounds of buttered bread for butties. I may not feel my aches and pains as much as I used to but I need something to calm my nerves.

I suppose it’s a good job now my weak bladder isn’t an issue. I don’t have to run to the loo every ten minutes (when I actually made it to the loo that is) or buy them perfume scented knicker pads any more. I used to pretend they were for Lizzy to the girl at the checkout. I’ll tell you something few know but you look like honest folk so I know it won’t go any further. There is something else I don’t miss at all. When I got an itchy bum I couldn’t get round for a good scratch if you know what I mean. But living on the poverty line makes you quite resourceful so I had to use a secret toothbrush. But sure I dropped it one day and Jimmy thought it was his (his cataracts were playing up at the time) and well, I’m sure you can imagine the rest. Thank God for extra minty…

The Power of the Doctor review

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

All photos copyright BBC

Every Doctor’s regeneration story should be epic and exciting and ram home to the audience why this Doctor was so great and will be missed. None have failed so far but sadly the 13th Doctor’s final outing turned out to be epic I’ll admit but an epic mess.

I’ve been very critical of this era because it is such a horrible lesson in PC, story writing and non engaging stories. Some message stories literally slap you in the face with the issue like the one about the dangers of plastic (Praxeus) and the other one aabout not looking after the planet (Orphan 55). There is no subtlety at all with the story declaring the message without the need for the Doctor to preach. Click here to see what I thought of The Timeless Children https://timewarriors.co.uk/2020/12/07/how-the-timeless-children-completely-screws-doctor-who/

It actually pains me to say that as a lifelong Who fan, this has been a disaster. This Doctor has no personality of her own to make her distinctive against her former selves. She has been surrounded by dreary companions like Ryan who had no character development or reason to be. Graham was loveable only because he is Bradley Walsh but to be fair, his fear of cancer returning and dealing with the death of his wife the night he met the Doctor was a plot device used when necessary rather than being confronted head on. Those would have made for some powerful scenes. Indeed Graham and Ryan’s departure had all the emotion of a wet mop across the face. This showed just how much the chemistry simply wasn’t there in the writing. Yaz is simply stalkerish at times and Dan only emphasized that John Bishop is simply not an actor. But does the Doctor /Yaz love twist mean no matter what form the Doctor takes women will always be his/her preference?

But none of this is the actors’0 fault. It is all down to showrunner Chris Chibnall and his complete disregard of the past. Three companions in the Tardis has never worked; ask Susan, Nyssa and Adric. Making the Doctor an immortal being and the template for every Time Lord that has ever existed is ludicrous to say the least. It robs the drama as the Doctor can never die. All the other regenerations especially the Matt Smith one lose their heart as regeneration is inevitable no matter what. The 11th Doctor thought this was the end of his life but knowing the Timeless Children negates that completely. The introduction of Jo Martin’s Fugitive Doctor was a good thing and she made more of an impact that Jodie’s version. During the Flux, so many loose ends and confusion reigned after the final episode (Peggy disappears completely and never mentioned after Village of the Angels and Sontarans can now eat food which is impossible because of their clone makeup) plus every Dalek and Cyberman are destroyed by the Flux in the final Sontaran trap until they’re not wiped out after all. The Power of the Doctor felt like an animal in need of being put down out of mercy. Sacha Dhawan’s Master is so manic that he fails to walk the line between subtlety and evil charm that Roger Delgado and Anthony Ainley did so well. It is pure pantomime.

I think also so many defeated enemies are back for the finale despite death including the Master killed on Gallifrey along with the Cyber Lords (a stupid idea if ever I saw one) and the Lone Cyberman Ashad. It is all explained that the Master planned well ahead in case of defeat but this is limp and unconvincing. Besides Time in human form told the Doctor at the end of Flux he was coming back with the obvious Dalek and Cybermen. Dramatic foreshadowing beomes spoiler alert for both the audience and the Doctor. But like most of the Chibnall era, nothing makes sense. The Daleks and Cybermen were wiped out in the Flux and I mean totally until of course they were back for the following story Eve of the Daleks. Chibnall is famous for his teenage criticism of the show with Sylvester McCoy and Bonnie Langford on Points of View back in the classic era day and it has become a symbol for practice what you preach by some very clever editors on YouTube. Everything he bashed he has done only in a less etertaining way; give me Delta and the Bannermen any day.

With ratings dwindling it is clear from the start this is a clesr out story, a reset to bring back David Tennant. Dan is gone within five minutes. Yaz and the Doctor are called to UNIT where Kate Stewart has recruited Ace and Tegan, both former companions of the Doctor’s to work for her. Ace was the seventh Doctor’s mainstay while Tegan appeared in all but one of the fifth Doctor’s stories. They are indeed a welcome sight as this makes sense. Who else would be better to fight the darkness than those who have stood by the Doctor’s side?

While it is awesome to have them back and see what hs happend to them since they left the Tardis, it is damaging to the Jodie Doctor also. She should be the main focus of this episode and while Chibnall is trying to introduce elements for the 60th anniversary, this may be a misstep.

There is no sense to the Master’s plan and while Rasputin is visually great, it only adds to the confusion, What was the two time zones about? How is there any empire left Cyber or Dalek from the Flux? Why does he want them to destroy each other once he forces the Doctor to regenerate into him? How is that even possible and retain the Master persona? How is Yaz able to fly the Tardis so perfectly she saves a falling Ace from certain death? How did Graham suddenly pop up under a volcano? In reality, Tegan would have thrown away the toy Cyberman the Doctor has sent to her because it is a painful reminder of the death of Adric. She would know the Doctor would never send her something so horrible and painful.

All these Easter Eggs take away from Jodie Whittaker’s final performance. She should be the focus of the story yet I was touched more by Tegan and Ace interacting with their respective Doctors and finding peace at last. I was equally delighted by the appearance of Doctors five to eight as guardians stopping the 13th from entering where Time Lords go when they regenerate. This was a beautiful and special scene especially when the Doctors bitch at number 8 over robes.

Ashad’s Cyber invasion was brilliant as Russian Dolls but the fact the new UNIT building has only sealed them in rather than defeating them is lazy. When we finally get everyone into the Tardis for the climax, it is lovely but again I’m confused as to how the Cyber planet can help stop the volcanic eruptions when ten minutes ago the Daleks and Cybermen were all out trying to wipe each other out? Who the hell is keeping score here? If Vinder came to find the Qurunx why does he clear off without it? He is simply a handy plot device to help Yaz trap the Master.

The multi Doctor costume is silly at best and highlights how stupid the Master’s plan to be the Doctor really is. What is he hoping to achieve out of it given he has murdered his entire civilisation in the Timeless Children? He is now the last of the Time Lords. Why? What? What? What? What shit am I watching?

I have to say this is quite a touching moment and the actual regeneration speech is beautiful in its simplicity. Tag you’re it is wonderful.

Mortally wounded, the Doctor passes out surrounded by family both present and past. When she wakes Yaz is still piloting the Tardis effortlesly (how? Is she River Song?) Everyone has been dropped off home but there is no way any of them would just leave on Yaz’s say so especially Graham. Tegan has seen regeneration first hand and knows how fragile the Doctor will be after it (Castrovalva) so she would be going nowhere. So Yaz and the Doctor spend one last moment watching Earth while eating ice cream before Yaz is bundled off back to Earth. This is a clear out moment as many companions have been there to help the Doctor change from one body to another. This is shown when Graham has sought out other companions and invited them to tell stories about their time with the Doctor including the first Doctor’s companion Ian Chesterton. This is a bittersweet moment because while I welcome the companions appearing, it is the ones that are missing that bring a tear to the eye. Sarah Jane, Harry Sullivan, Victoria, The Sarah Jane gang and K9, Benton, Mike Yates, Martha, Mickey and Jack Harkness to name a few. Some have passed in real ;ife but their spirits in the Who universe are alive and well.

Overall this story is a wipe the slate clean exercise. Bringing old chaaracters and Doctor s back enforce only dilutes the Jodie era reminding us that such radical change only brought the show to its worst ratings knees in history. The 13th Doctor is almost a background character while all the rest get to fight the good fight. Ace and Tegan are awesome in their battles against their respective foes; not so much the current cast although Yaz holding the Master at gunpoint is well done.

As tje 13th Doctor regenerates in a truly beautiful shot, all I could think was what a wasted opportunity and that Chris Chibnall is not a showrunner. Hence the return of the tenth/fourteenth Doctor to save the series before Ncuti Gatwa takes over.

But ultimately like the rest of his era Chibnall left a confusing mess that did not serve the Doctor well when she should have bloomed.

TW watches Monkey Shines

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Monkey Shines is a 1983 horror movie based on the novel of the same name by Michael Stewart and is just as near perfect as you can get. Directed by George A. Romero, it explores themes of disability and its consequences, friendship and animal experimentation. It failed to recuperate its full $7 million budget but has now gained cult status.

When Allan Mann (Jason Beghe), an aspiring athlete, is hit by a truck while out jogging, his life changes as he is now a quadriplegic. His mother employs a live in nurse but his ‘off the wall’ scientific friend Geoffrey gives him a trained monkey to service all his needs by lying to Melanie Parker, who runs a programme with monkeys for people like Allan. What Geoffrey doesn’t tell either of them is that the monkey, named Ella, has been injected with human brains by him in order to increase its intelligence. He has told his boss the monkey died but Geoffrey has given Ella to his friend so he can continue his experiments on her. What Geoffrey doesn’t count on is that Ella develops feelings for Allan and they become mentally linked due to the injections of human brain matter. Everyone that Allan has feelings for is now a threat to Ella and she has no problem killing them so she can have him all for herself. And dangerously, Allan’s inner rage is acted on by Ella in a bizarre Fatal Attraction scenario.

The movie explores the themes of animal experimentation, exploitation and how life as a quadriplegic can impact someone mentally. Geoffrey has good intentions for the betterment of mankind and Allan but his morality leaves a lot to be desired. He injects himself with a serum that stops him sleeping. That way he reasons if he died at 50 he would have actually have lived for 65 years. He does the right thing for the wrong reasons when he fakes Ella’s death and donates her to Melanie. However Melanie and Allan’s growing attraction to each other is something Ella has to get rid of.

Monkey Shines could easily have teetered over into the absurd and become a cringe worthy movie but it is anything but. The initial ‘cuteness’ reaction by the audience towards little Ella remains despite her actions. She is also a sympathetic character because she has been the victim of Geoffrey’s experiments before finding love and happiness with Allan. She needs him as much as he needs her. She is only protecting what she loves after a life of being in a cage and pricked by needles. There is a real and emotional relationship between the two of them that is as solid and real as the eventual one between Allan and Melanie. Ella and Allan even have their favourite song to dance to.

What is explored well is the consequences of someone going from being able-bodied to being reduced to completely relying both mentally and physically on others for the most basic needs. Indeed this is seen further in his girlfriend’s reaction, She is there for his homecoming but has not visited Allan in the hospital since the accident. We see behind closed doors she is not holding it together and we sympathise with her as it’s a test of love whether you love someone enough to be their carer for the rest of your lives because of their condition. Life is much easier and simple when you don’t have to push a wheelchair wherever you go. Even going to the supermarket is an undertaking when you are in that position. Fair play to Romero for not shying away from these very real issues.

Allan is surrounded by an overpowering mother, a resentful live-in nurse with an annoying budgie as a pet and his messed up friend Geoffrey. His former girlfriend cannot cope with a life looking after Allan and ends up starting a relationship with the doctor that told Allan he would be crippled for life. However as we find out, the doctor lied in order to bed Allan’s girlfriend. Everyone is living a lie, keeping up appearances and not facing life as it is now. With Ella, everything is pure and real. She doesn’t know any other way which helps Allan immensely. There are no complications or bullshit when they are together. In fact Ella even helps Allan in the classroom when he goes back to college to study law. Their mental link allows Allan to travel outside through Ella’s eyes. Their relationship is real. It can be seen that Ella dispatches the threats towards her and Allen in a poetic way. Allan’s girlfriend and the doctor are burned alive; their end being reflective of the flames of passion that sparked their relationship. Allan’s mother is killed by electrocution, an overbearing woman taken down by a primal force of nature she cannot control. Ella finds poetic justice when she injects Geoffrey with poison he intended for her echoing the numerous infections she has endured for the sake of his research. Ella is the apex predator when she takes out the nurse’s budgie, as nature commands, causing her to quit; another obstacle out of Ella’s way.

Such is Allan and Ella’s connection that Allan believes that Ella is carrying out his desires when he hears of the blaze that killed the doctor and his former girlfriend. But it is very much a symbiotic relationship. Allan’s rage at his being a quadriplegic is amplified into vengeful hate when he discovers that he can walk again as the doctor lied. There is a forced scene to try and show the audience how deep Ella loves Allan when she feeds from his mouth implying they are kissing but it’s a dumb scene that doesn’t work. I know what it is trying to convey but it falls flat.

But the movie also has no issues of showing that Allan can have physical intimacy with another human despite his condition when he and Melanie have sex at her home. It’s an affirmation that paralysis is not the end people think it is and that humans are adaptable, finding a way to cope with whatever life throws at them. Ella sadly is collateral damage in human stupidity here and when Allan finally kills her, it is as tragic as it is horrific. The reaction shots of the monkey are cute right to the end making her eventual murder by Allan actually heartbreaking.

None of the performances here are sub par and Jason Beghe (who has also guested in The X-Files and Alien Nation) delivers a layered character in Allan adjusting to his new life and the frustrations of it. John Pankow is flawless as the troubled Geoffrey under pressure from his boss to deliver results from his research forcing him to make some bad decisions but with good reason to help his best friend while furthering his own needs.

Monkey Shines is a great movie that tackles social issues head on without slapping the audience in the face with the message. Well worth the watch.

Book Excerpt: Zombie Blues: Wanna Be Zombie

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Be careful what you wish for! Want to be a zombie in the Walking Dead? You sure the universe isn’t listening? Read the whole story in Zombie Blues now available on Amazon.

                    WANNABE ZOMBIE

Do you know that old saying, be careful what you wish for? Yeah well, the zombie apocalypse most certainly threw that one in my face.

I’m the world’s foremost zombie cosplayer, Miles Milligan. I love my name as it makes me sound special like Peter Parker or Bruce Banner. I’m the man with a secret life, desperate for attention. I live with my mom and dad and two younger sisters. I say sisters but they’re more like those ghost twins out of the Shining. That movie was what got me hooked on horror and we all know there is no one better than Mr King.

I used to sit up with my mom and dad watching the late Saturday night horror double thing horror bill. I devoured every movie, every book I could and loved every minute of it. From that came model making of the most famous characters in the genre; Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon and Pumpkinhead to name but a few.

Then I discovered cosplay!

What is cosplay I hear some of you ask? Really? Ok, well cosplay is a global hobby where you dress as your favourite film and television characters (or anime but that’s not my scene). For example, Spiderman or even a Transformer like Bumblebee or Optimus Prime. Any era, any character, Jack Sparrow, Mister Vader himself or Harley of the Quinns. It is done mostly for fun but there are some out there who see it as something more. They see it as a personal ego trip where they can step on anyone to be the best there is. They will go into debt and danger just to be the best costume. For those people I believe they secretly want to be famous but are frustrated that the closest they get to fame is meeting the actors from their movies and television shows. They think that gives them a privilege but it’s a false fame. It’s phantom fame based on their costume and no offence some of them need to chew on a few salads before declaring how amazing they look as a particular character. Cosplay may be colour blind (rightly so) but it’s not that blind when ridiculousness surpasses sense. But hey, let those idiots wallow in their own self delusion because real cosplayers do it for fun and raise money for charity too. Those are the real heroes.

Me, I love to dress up. I always have and my never miss show is The Shambling Death; you guessed it, a zombie show.

While it has its critics, it is amazingly popular and they keep coming up with new and inventive zombies every season. I would sit glued to the screen each week on repeated viewings and in my mind, I was that zombie. I wanted nothing more than to be an extra on the show as the most bizarre zombie they could make. And what better way to attract the attention of the shows producers than by going to the fan conventions as the best zombie there was and maybe, just maybe that magic moment would happen where they say ‘Miles, would you like….?’

I had it planned to the letter. I would make sure I got photographed with various actors and production staff and post them to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram…anywhere it could possibly bee seen.

All I ever wanted was to be a zombie. Well, I must have seriously pissed the universe off because as they say, be careful what you wish for.

I suppose the greatest irony is it happened at a Shambling Death convention (expensive bugger it was too on the photo ops alone but hey, any price to get where I wanted to be!).

Book Excerpt: The Time Warriors First Footsteps: Experiment 4

                           

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Experiment 4 is part of the first Time Warriors book, First Footsteps and is set on the fictional island of Farran off the west coast of Ireland. Called there to investigate a mysterious death, the Warriors soon find something is stalking the island eager to consume the islanders and then the rest of the world.

Available to buy on Amazon in paperback and Kindle.

 EXPERIMENT FOUR PART 1

It was high summer in the middle of July and the night had fallen like a blanket on the island of Farron.

It was an idyllic picture.

The rough cliffs searing upwards like ancient kings as the docile sea lapped at their feet tossing white crests like jester hats. The air was warm as the island sweltered beneath a heat wave. Islanders slept with their windows open and a few even camped out beneath the stars.

The black sky made the stars sparkle with the fierce white of precious diamonds crowned by a half moon so clear you could see the features on the surface.

 Perhaps on nights like this when people looked up at the sky and saw the moon, it gave rise to the old man in the moon stories.

A solitary jumbo jet flew overhead en route to Florida filled with eager holidaymakers excited at going to Disneyland. The few passengers that looked out the cabin windows saw chains of golden lights that looked like giant necklaces.

 Some wondered what the people below were doing. What sort of life did they lead? Most people that lived in the country or the cities and towns that cluttered the mainland could not comprehend the appeal of living here away from civilisation.

They imagined little background stories for those who lived there and what their lives were like. It passed the time if you didn’t like the latest inflight movie or had grown bored with the book they had brought to kill time on the long flight.

It was that or go to sleep. Silently the plane left the island behind and as the distance grew, the stories left them. But none could dream up Ernie Reavey’s story.

The sound of laughter and music filtered over the night air, flowing from the golden spill of the pub’s white wood panelled windows which cast shadows over the gravelled ground.

The stench of beer carried through the night breeze as someone played a fiddle rendition of an Irish jig.

Shadows jerked like struggling puppets as some customers danced bringing screams of laughter.

The thatched roof and white painted walls gave it a picture postcard quality, the owners having kept most of the original structure. The squeak of rusty hinges brought attention to a sign above the door.

 It was an old style painting of a boat in which sat a man in a navy pullover and black cap smoking a pipe with two grey dolphins swimming at his bow. Above it was painted the words Sailors’ Keep. But fishermen were few and far between these days.

Farron had been a major fishing power some years back but new ideas from university graduates spoke of economic restructuring and relocation. Costs and figures had lessened Farron’s importance.

While it still had a fair amount of trading with the mainland companies, most of its attraction was tourist based. With its historical ruins and myriad of sea bird wildlife that roosted in the giant cliff faces, the island had a regular influx of people that toured and rested.

Some of the passengers aboard the jet may have wondered why people lived here but the tourists who visited Farron knew. It was tranquil where the pace of life was so laid back no one seemed miserable.

When the sun beamed down from the clear blue skies, igniting the water with a serene quality, you could walk the litter free sandy beaches without falling over crowds or sit on the cliff tops gazing out over the vista of perfect sea and enchanting sky.

You forgot there was a world out there where people lived in fear on overcrowded estates and cities. Where pensioners froze to death because their pension wasn’t big enough or slept on cardboard streets, a shaking hand extended for small change.

Of course, in the winter, life could be harsh but the population of over two thousand always looked out for each other no matter what. It was a sight to behold when the sea raged and slammed against the cliffs in bellows of white, causing even the birds to huddle. Thunder growled cruelly and sharp white flames of lightning slashed the sky.

It was the stuff documentary makers lived for and to behold such a sight truly left one breathless with fearful awe.

But tonight was different. It was calm with the slightest of warm breezes dancing across the island. The part moon bathed the island in a soft hazy glow.

 No clouds, no storms on the horizon, just nature slumbering peacefully in quiet contentment. A coffin of light broke the partial darkness as the Sailors’ Keep’s door opened and a dark figure stumbled outside.

Tugging his flat tweed cap down over his head, Ernie pulled the lapel of his worn beige overcoat tighter round his neck as he steadied himself. He waved in answer to the cries of goodnight from inside the pub.

The door swung shut, leaving him in darkness once again. His eyes adjusted to the dark. He saw the welcoming light of his cottage. Located on the edge of town, it was only a few hundred metres and he always kept a light burning in the window.

He looked forward to getting into his bed, the central heating having been on since he left for a pint four hours ago. At his age it was always cold even in this heatwave. He caught the smell of Guinness and brandy shots on his breath as he set off down the gravel path, the crunch under his worn booted feet sounding sharply in the night air.

Flowering bushes rustled lazily as he headed in the direction of the footpath that took him to the cliffs. Today was a special day for Ernie. It was July 21st, his wedding anniversary.

He had worked on the fishing boats for years and had met Lily on one of his trips to Farron many years ago.

His first memory of her was on the jetty, walking with some friends, the sea breeze making her curly black hair shimmer. Her brown eyes locked on his as he climbed the steps to get a better look at her while pretending to work with a crab keel. Ernie slipped and fell on the watery steps and Lily had rushed over to help him.

Gasping in pain, he had gratefully accepted a lift to the local doctors. He was told he had broken his arm. Having had it set, Lily had taken him to her parents’ cottage to rest and had a cup of tea.

He recalled her slender fingers round the brown mug as she handed it to him, the slight brush of her skin against his and was inwardly relieved not to see a ring.

Unable to work, he and Lily spent the next six weeks inseparable and shared their first kiss on Shannon’s Point, a local spot frequented by blossoming couples. Most liked it for the abundance of bushes which afforded them privacy. Ernie could not believe how much Lily had captured his heart. He was totally entranced by her.

She was his world.                                               

Her infectious giggle, the way she flicked her hair away from her forehead, the gentle touch of her fingers as she constantly smoothed Ernie’s unkempt blond hair.

Sometimes he saw her watching him when she thought he wasn’t looking. The look on her face gave him butterflies. It was a look of absolute love and warmth. And he wasn’t going to let it go.

On September 10th, he had taken her to the Golden Mile, a stretch of beach that sat adjacent to the sea like a tiara. It was dotted by green spiky bushes and shells, the sweet smell of brine travelling on the breeze as gulls cried excitedly overhead.

He laid out the tartan blanket and spread their picnic of tea in a flask and cucumber and tomato sandwiches and homemade sponge cake between them. They had eaten in silence, giving each other the occasional gentle look.

Ernie took his shirt off and Lily pulled her skirt to just below the top of her knees. They lay under the lazy sun tanning nicely.

Gingerly, Ernie slipped his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers. He looked sideways at her. Her eyes were closed but a slight smile lit her face.

“Lily O’Reilly. Would you marry me?” Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him, shielding her startled gaze from the sun. She took one look at his screwed up face, squinting in the sun and smiled.

“Yes,” she said simply as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Pass me a slice of sponge cake.”

Ernie brought his other hand over and opened it. They sat up as Lily put her hands to her face, stifling a grin. It wasn’t sponge cake he held out to her but a simple brass band.

 It wasn’t encrusted with diamonds or pearls nor was it fancy. It was plain and simple, just like Ernie. But it was hers. He slipped it on her finger and they kissed.

They had been married eight months later, a simple ceremony but one infused with love and hope for the future.

 They had decided to stay on the island. Both liked life here, it was uncomplicated. It seemed the party had been attended by most of the islanders. They rented Mister Shane’s old cottage and set up home.

Within the year, Lily was pregnant but unfortunately, the birth was difficult and that day in July, Ernie lost his beloved Lily and infant son. They had been buried in the local graveyard with a funeral that brought a mass turnout. It was as if the entire island mourned his loss.  When the crowds dispersed, Ernie fell apart. 

He had remained on Farron and still lived in the cottage. He had never remarried, not even dated. The pain was too much living without Lily and his child. He couldn’t face it again with someone else. He had often thought of taking his own life but he just couldn’t.

God no longer existed for him, for no god of love could be so cruel as to take all Ernie loved and leave him alone. He continued to work on the boats and lived a meagre life style but had been left a substantial amount from his parent’s estate.

As long as he had money for a pint he was alright.

He shuffled along the gritty path, his circulation not what it once was. In the gloom he saw a battered wooden bench with metal arm rests. It was just on the verge rusting, with the grass growing up round it. Sitting himself down, he took off his cap and held it in his lap.

 Staring up at the curtain of crystal stars that sparkled like tear drops from heaven, he smiled.

“Well, Lily. It would have been forty eight years today. Had a few brandies for you, hope you don’t mind.”

He sat in silence for a while, letting warm memories wash over of him of their scant years together. He often talked to Lily. He firmly believed she was still with him and had raised their boy in a better place.

He recalled the baby’s eyes, brown like his mother. He had held his stillborn son at the bedside of his deceased mother and soaked in every detail about him before the doctors took them away.

He called his son, James. He was the spit of his mother, same features, and same soft hair. If someone had looked in, they would have thought it was a father cradling his son while the mother got some sleep.

“How’s James? Playing you up I suppose. He probably has your spirit. I miss you Lily. Even after all these years, I still love you.”

His eyes welled sadly and he broke down as he stared at the sky. If the stars could be so bright, surely it could only be a gateway to heaven. He imagined Lily and James smiling down on him, patiently waiting for the day they would be a family again.

Sitting on this cliff top watching the starry sky glimmer on the slate like sea, Ernie truly felt he was close to his family. He imagined that if he just reached up, they would take his hand and tell him how much they loved him. He would hear James’ stories of all the wonderful things he and his mother had seen in the next life and how much they had longed for Ernie to be with them to share it.

He sobbed lightly, rocking slightly. He failed to see the dark shape that slithered up the cliff path behind him.

 It saw him in a red hue, alive with colour and energy. It gurgled softly as it seethed forward. Ernie wiped his eyes as the stars seemed to glow with such brilliance he thought the pearly gates themselves were opening. Beyond would be Lily and James, smiling and loving.

He felt a flood of the deepest peace he had ever known and in a second Ernie fell into the open arms of his wife and son.