Doctor Who The Varos Argument: Killer Doctor?

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

photo copyright BBC

Back when the BBC almost cancelled Doctor Who under the guise of a hiatus during Colin Baker’s first season in the role, it was claimed one of the reasons for the postponement was the violent nature that had suddenly taken over the stories. As we know now it was a bullshit excuse because Michael Grade hated the show and simply wanted rid of it. However like the best fandom in the world, the BBC controller seriously underestimated the power of the fans. It ended ultimately with the sacking of Colin Baker from the role and the show went on for three more years under Sylvester McCoy before faalling into the abyss for several years. Again as time has shown this era gave us some of he best stories in the show’s history like Curse of Fenric, Remembrance of the Daleks and the oddball Greatest Show in the Galaxy.

Behind the scenes budget cuts and trapping the long time producer John Nathan Turner in the job until it went off air, all contributed to the demise. Ratings were thrown about to justify the cancellation but when you are placed up against Coronation Street of course ratings aren’t going to what they were. I lived through it and saw everything and to this day it pisses me off that people will simply believe what they read in the press and nod like brainless sheep. I never take anyone’s opinion of anything; I prefer to judge for myself. I hate lies being told and it will spark a bad reaction from me if you accuse me in the wrong.

I went to the Panopticon convention in the Imperial College London where Colin Baker bravely turned up for the fans despite being sacked. Everyone knew it sucked that he was the scapegoat but he was applauded and welcomed by most of fandom back them. There was a very vocal section that continued to slam the show and these attacks, while some were legitimate criticisms, undoubtedly helped contribute to the end. I saw the same type of sheep behaviour when Jake Sisko from Deep Space 9 was called that annoying brat all because of the legacy of Wesley Crusher. Jake like all the other characters on the show was a fully rounded three dimensional figure so were these people not watching what I was watching? Are they so gormless that they cannot form their own opinions and stand up and say no?

The point in question has stuck with me for years and when I see similar behaviour in Star Wars fandom towards Rose and Jar Jar and more recently the Jodie Whittaker era of Doctor Who (most of which is justified to be fair), I have to wonder are they reading forums and going with popular opinion or have they hair on their balls and bits to justify their views through legitimate argument. I often think to myself, that fool seriously needs laid.

While season 22 of Doctor Who was lashed for being too violent (it’s always been violent, check out Tom Baker’s era before the unicorn and bluebird brigade stuck their nose in), one of the stories uder fire was Veengance on Varos. In that story the Doctor and Peri are forced to land on Varos to get a component mineral to fuel the Tardis. However they find a society that airs prisoners subjected to a series of traps they must evade in order to survie while the populace watches. It is a veritable video nasty world which is the entire point of the story by Philip Martin.

The Doctor having faked his death in a simulated scorching desert, awakens in a body disposal centre. Here. bodies are thrown into vats of acid rather than being buried or cremated. His return from the dead startles the two guards dumping the bodies. One guard bumps into the other pushing him into the acid. The remaining guard tussles with the Time Lord before being pulled into the acid by his dying comrade. Now the media all claimed that the show had gone too far to show the Doctor killing an innocent by throwing them into a vat of acid. This was too much for children at teatime and clearly showed how far the show had gone dark for ratings.

Wait a second, I thoguht to myself. Has any of these tabloid trash even watched the story or that particular scene? This is where I took offence because they were trying to get rid of my favourite show by lying to the masses whom just like the ones on Varos, simply nodded and accepted what they were told and read. The state was controlling the narrative and how ironic it was happening in the real world.

Of ourse shows can get stale and need a reboot from time to time but to try and justify by obvious lies is another level entirely and thank God fans fought back including me. I sent my petition like many others. But I digress.

As the news read, the Doctor had no problem coldly murdering someone by tossing them in acid and making a dsmissive quip. The quip is there, that much is true but the Doctor is an alien so his reactions are not necessarily going to be what we expected. Besides, everybody had a quip in the eighties from Arnie to Freddy Kruger. Look at the scene. It’s on YouTube so no excuse not to see for yourself. Yes it is a long time ago but this sort of behaviour is still happening today as per Star Wars as previously mentioned so we as fans and adults have a responsibility to make up our own minds before launching a criticism especially when the future of the shows we love depend on it.

Have you seen the reels where a corpse at a wake suddenly coms back to life terrifying the mourners or people trapped in a lift with a body that suddenly rises? It’s hilarious. The reactions are real and I’ve seen it in real life when trapped gas escaped from a dead relative while the wake was happening. I’ve never seen my cousins move so fast. I laugh now but it’s the reaction that is tthe point.

The hapless guards have the same reaction and attacks the Doctor. They struggle and it is clear how the guard falls into the acid.

Yet so many don’t think for themselves and despite the evidence being right in front of them, it is ignored for the more dramatic show that is no longer suitable for children myth. There was only the video player to go back on if you recorded it in the first place. There was no internet, reels or IPlayers to jump on and judge for yourself. Even dedicated viewers and fans always find something new on repeat viewings so memory can cheat you.

This era was a time when the BBC boss was on a witch hunt to cancel the show, Sure, it may have needed a boost but that was down to the BBC’s actions like keeping a producer in a job he needed to leave to expand his CV. Stuff like this reflects on the main actors and in this case Colin Baker would ultimately lose the role he adored. He has been an ambassador for the show ever since and came back for the Children In Need special Dimensions in Time along with the other surviving Doctors, the stage show taking over from Jon Pertwee, a massive run in the Big Finish audio adventures and in the Jodie Whittaker send off Power of the Doctor. How ironic the show is now the most anticipated one with the return of David Tennant and the debut of Gatwa as the new Doctor.

Things like the misreporting of the acid scene in Vengeance on Varos are hopefully a thing of the past but it stands as a perfect example of people jumping on a bandwagon without checking their facts first just to justify getting rid of a show, tired or not. By the way, Vengeance on Varos is a bloody good story with a villain that fans would still like to see return on screen, Sil. Who knows?

Forgotten Monsters: Doctor Who’s The Vervoids

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Photo copyright Owen Quinn

I was recently made aware of just how many movies and television shows the younger generation have never heard of, never mind seen. So to that end, we look back at some characters you really need to see before you kick the bucket.

The Vervoids were a one off monsters from the colourful sixth Doctor era and more specifically the Trial of a Time Lord season.

They appeared in the story Terror of the Vervoids as part of the Doctor’s defence. He was on trial for interfering in th affairs of others by prosecutor the Valeyard (later revealed to be a distillation of the Doctor’s darker self) and he took an adventure from his own future in order to prove his innocence. The point was that he would change as time went on and be the hero he has always been. There were a couple of firsts here as this was Mel Bush’s first story; the first companion we met after she has joined the Tardis without a proper introduction. Her screams also matched the harmonics of the theme music perfectly as her first electrifying cliffhanger aired. The Doctor wore a variation of his usual costume and his unpredictable persona had certainly settled by this stage.

Set on a luxury space liner, the Hyperion 3, the story was a Agatha Christie murder type affair. Passengers had dark secrets and there was a murderer on the loose picking them off one at a time. Written by Pip and Jane Baker, Terror of the Vervoids is a multilayered tale of genetics and smuggling.

As a genetically engineered species, the Vervoids were created by Professor Laskey (Honor Blackman, the original Avengers girl and Pussy Galore in James Bond) and her assistants Doland and Bruchner. They are all hiding something including the transportation of Vervoids in giant pods in the cargo bay as well as a shipment of seeds. An electrical explosion designed to kill Mel triggers the eruption of the pods and the Vervoids escape into the corridors of the Hyperion 3. Driven mad by terror and guilt at what they have done, Bruchner tries to fly the cruiser into a black hole to destroy the Vervoids. He knows what will happen if they ever reach the fertile soils of Earth. He is foiled when the Vervoids release a nerve gas which kills Bruchner but allows the non oxygen breathing Mogarians to enter the bridge and steer clear of the black hole.

Copyright BBC

Laskey’s arrogant confidence in her own ability have caused a member of her team to become infected. She is hidden away, now part Vervoid thanks to Vervoid pollen getting into her system via a scratch which is again another danger of the Vervoids reaching Earth. If they can mesh with humans then everything will fall.

The Vervoids hate humanity which it calls animal kind thanks to the way Laskey treated them. They are horrific in nature as they put the bodies of their victims on a compost heap to rot just like we do in autumn with plants. Whether it be by design or accident, the Vervoids can not only spew out a lethal gas but can fire stingers from their palms which instantly kill a person. Mister Kimber is probbaly their most horrible murder because he is an old man that the hostess fusses over. He is the perfect passenger and a nice person who is stung to death then dragged through the ducts to be placed on the compost heap.

The Mogarians are aboard to steal the preious metal stored in the cargo bay and the Doctor realises that vinosium will cause the Vervoids to age in seconds to their natural end. With no light or heat, the Vervoids are forced back into their lair where the Doctor and Mel are waiting. They explode the metal which releases UV light that ages the Vervoids to death reducing them to crumbling leaves. It gives us a chance to see how much killing them haunts the Doctor as he stares at a leaf that dissolves in the palm of his hand alongside the mournful incidental music.

The look of the Vervoids is in the tradition of the Zygons but it did cause some controversy as one magazine contacted Doctor Who magazine for featuring an explicit image on the cover when in fact it was the face of a Vervoid. Once your attention is drawn to it is reminiscent of a certain body part. In contrast to the usual booming alien voices, the Vervoids adopted the Zygon Ice Warrior and trait of a whispering voice. While they did attract some derision at the time, looking back now, the Vervoids work very well. They exhibit enough alien qualities to make them different from the usual man in a suit alien. They are as equally a threat in the interior of a ship as they are in the outdoors. They were born out of a scientist’s own thirst for a place in the history books ro serve her whims but as with all frankensteins, they fail to see their creations will have a will and purpose of their own.

One can’t help but wonder what the Docttor would have done if the Hyperion 3 wasn’t carrying vinosium on that trip. The greed of the Mogarians accidentally provided the salvation for all humanity. But the research is stored in a computer somewhere and even though Laskey died at the hands of her creationds, who’s to say someone else won’t try again to create the perfect Vervoid?

The Grieving Soul By James Dwyer out now!

Presented by Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Find the cure for death and death returns with the cure for life …No one knows why it happened, yet there is no denying that after the miracle cure for death was announced, the dead began to live and the living began to die. Unnatural creatures swept through the natural world and made it their own, and for four years the monsters hunted and consumed every living thing until only a few survivors remained.Clara Jacobs is a thirteen-year-old girl who loves to draw monsters. She does this so she has something to leave behind to the world after the monsters kill her, and in particular she draws the Fisherman: a creature capable of creating lakes of ice wherever he pleases, feeding on all the life that his ice can swallow.Evelyn Jacobs is Clara’s mother and she keeps a rifle in her hands at all times. Guns have no effect on the creatures, but the monsters are not what Evelyn dreads. She fears that this haunted world has turned all life into a despicable threat, and not just the unnatural dead.And Vic Marshalls … well, he’s a goddamned artist, and he includes everything he does and says in that definition of art, the clothes he wears and the way he spits both rating highly among his collective masterpieces. His mission in life, however, is to kill just one monster: the Grieving Soul. This creature has condemned an entire city to an eternal rain of hopelessness and grief, making the very buildings weep as the Grieving Soul walks their streets. Vic is willing to do anything he can to achieve this goal, but is the price of salvation truly worth his own damnation? To rid the world of monsters, must the human heart take monstrous form?There has to be a better way.

Doctor Who: The Cancer Question

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

photo copyright BBC

Youknow, the more I write these articles for the 60th anniversary and get these niggly things out of my system after all these years, something hit me.

People must be either watching programmes with their faces in their phones resulting in the stupid reactions I see online. This for me is one of the biggest and really think certain peiple should be banned from the internet; indeed banned from ever talking again because it’s literal shit they speak. It also shows the world that they are not watching shows closely at all..

In the episode Can You hear Me? from Jodie Whittaker’s second season Graham asks the Doctor a question. Niw we know Graham, the lovely Bradley Walsh, has survived cancer but lives in a constant fear of it returning. Now this aspect of his character ould have been used more amply than it was. Plunging head first into the mad adventures with the Doctor is a fantastic way of stopping yourself thinking about cancer and enjoying this life while we can. However the addictive nature of life in the Tardis can be a harmful thing too as demonstrated by the fate of Tegan and Clara. But in the moments between adventures, Graham tends to think about things he’d rather not.

It is in one of these quiet moments he takes the opportunity confide his greatest fear in the Doctor. She backs away awkwardly fiddling with the console unable to answer him. It is one of those times the Doctor is socially awkward when human personal issues are directed at her with expectant eyes. Instead she says she should say a reassuring thing but in a minute will think of something she should have said that would be helpful. It’s a nice human moment that reinforces the Doctor may look human but is alien. The implication being that she would have the answers to Graham’s worries. Reading between the lines, it is clear that Graham wants to know if his cancer will return. He knows the Doctor is long lived and a wealth of information about life but the fact she has a time machine automatically makes Graham think that she would know the answer or maybe even go forward to see his future. As Peri was once told in Revelation of the Daleks, it is possible to go forward to visit your own grave.

Now, here’s where the idiots jumped on and took great exception to the Doctor’s behaviour. Thye berated her for not answering Graham’s question but two things they forgot.One, the point of the scene was that the Doctor does not have all the answers and that death scares her as much as any mortal. Secondly, her reaction is very human yet distinctly Doctorish as she does not know what to say. No one in that situation really does. What do you say to someone who is living in fear of cancer returning again? You can give a hopeful assurance it may never happen and to enjoy life while you can. But that mist of an answer can be interpreted as do what you want before cancer comes back and finally takes you.

So the Doctor’s response is exactly what the Doctor would do and she doesn’t come up with something clever or reassuring because of all the darkness she has fought, a disease taking the life of a friend is not in her remit. Remember when the eleventh Doctor found out that the Brigadier had died several months before and he had missed it? His reaction was deep shock that concepts like friends dying of old age or disease is not in his pervue. It is only when it happens that the Doctor is brought back down to Earth. There is no easy answer to cancer and all we can give is a hopeful ‘worry about it when it happens’ air. In the meantime we fill what life we have left with as much fun and adventure as possible. Maybe that’s why the Doctor tries so hard to show his companions so much in such a compact time frame. Inwardly she knows her time will end with her friends and indeed she will regenerate one day so this could be her fear; her cancer fear. Let’s get out there before the darkness falls. As the eleventh Doctor told Amy he is running towards things before they fade away.

So once again, the viewer looks but does not see and they are set in that mindset. They forgwt thsi is only a television show and the Doctor is a fictional figure. It is up to the writers to ensure that all character’s reactions reflect the general mindset but vitally that individual character’s own values and traits. Here we got a perfect reminder that the Doctor is an alien traveller and not all knowing or omnipotent despite the reveal of the Timeless Children. Inded the eleventh Doctot couldn’t handle housework in the Power of Three. Normality for us drives him mad.

Once again, misconception and not paying attention to what is unravelling on screen can damage a show we care about which long term will lead to tears.

Forgotten Villains: The Master Deadly Assassin

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Who is the Master? He’s my sworn arch enemy; a fiend that glories in chaos and destruction.

Photos copyright BBC

I was recently made aware of just how many movies and television shows the younger generation have never heard of, never mind seen. So to that end, we look back at some characters you really need to see before you kick the bucket.

The Master is and always has been the Doctor’s arch nemesis. Former childhood friends on Gallifrey, they somehow became sworn enemies when the Doctor left their homeworld to explore the universe in direct contradiction of Time Lord law.

There have been seven versions so far starting with Roger Delgado and currently Sasha Dhawan. But for me the most terrifying version was the dessicated one from the Deadly Assassin, This Master was decayed and dying, seemingly burnt beyond recognition. He lures the Doctor to their homeworld of Gallifrey by sending a telepathic image of the President being assassinated by the Doctor (Tom Baker) himself. He frames the Doctor before trying to murder him in side the Matrix, the total residual of all Time Lord minds. The Master plans to steal the Eye of Harmony to restore his body and give him ultimate control over reality. But not before he sees the Doctor die.

The Deadly Assassin was the Doctor’s first solo adventure, a trait Tom Baker wanted to continue but he was overruled. This story has stod the test of time and theis new version really fits in beautifully with the dark corridors. Through the story there are the deep tones of organ music evocative of the Hammer Horror movies. It reflects the pomposity of the Time Lords and the unwarranted high regard they see themselves in compared to the rest of the universe. The cathedral like sets are the perfect setting for the Master’s return.

Initially he is seen in shadow, a rasp of anger and a flick of the edge of a cloak. I cannot recall at the time if the newspapers had revealed this story would feature the Master but the little me never expected to see such a horrible figure.Wearing a dark cloak like a shroud with a deep hood to hide his burnt flesh, this was terrifying and exciting at the same time. Questions that would never be answered on screen but only in a novel like why did the Master look like this? Where was the suave charming Roger Delgado version we loved? In reality Roger had died in a car crash a few years before. The production team took the character in a bold new direction intending this to be the final battle between the two Time Lords on their homeworld.

This Master is electrifying and by far my favourite version. I proudly own the action figure still in his packaging. There is something so grotesque yet sympathetic with this Master. In the novel the Legacy of the Daleks, the Doctor finds the Delgado Master trying to revive the Daleks in 22nd century London some years after the Dalek Invasion of Earth where he left his granddaughter Susan behind in the original television story. She stows away aboard the Master’s Tardis after her husband is killed. There is an incident on the planet Tersurus where she thinks the Master has been killed. In fact his badly burned body is found by a fellow Time Lord Goff who saves him bringing him back to Gallifrey. This sets in motion the events of the Deadly Assassin.

What has always powered the Master os his desire to kill the Doctor but not before letting him see all he cares about die first. Whether his mind has been broken or his hatrred has finally cnsumed all reason, the Master finds he has no regenrations left so needs the Eye of Harmony, the heart of the capitol to restore himself again. He finds a sympathetic mind in Goff who keeps him safe in the underbelly of the city ensuring the Master can spin his web. Using the Matrix to kill the Doctor gives us a glimpse into the Master’s mind. Dead;y clowns, crocodiles, deadly swamps and bizarre soldiers twisted from what we see as normal are all weapons against the Doctor as Goff hunts him down. It is a brutal, unforgiving landscape echoing the Master’s focused intent on killing his former friend. It alos gives us the cliffhanger that made Mary Whitehouse cry Doctor Who was too violent kids. Goff and the Doctor battle hand to hand in the swamp. Gaining an advantage Goff holds the Doctor’s head underwater which freeze frmaes on the drowning Time Lord. It is brutal, it is scary but it is vital to the story and establishing the Master’s persona in this story. Never before has he been so sadistic and cold in his thrist for vengeance and power.

When the Dotor comes face to face with the Master in bright light, the Master’s face is literally a skull heild together with charred skin with eyes that look like they could fall out at any time. Even if that happened, the Master would keep going. It draws you in and as a kid was alluringly repulsive. This is Doctor Who horror at its best. The Master here evokes echoes of the Phantom of the Opera and Dracula mixed with Dr Phibes and every disfigured madman that has ever graced the silver screen.

Peter Pratt plays this Master perfectly and in the scene where the Master is found dead in his lair, there is a pensive expectation that he would come back to life in a heartbeat. There aare no eyelids to close over those eyes and the face’s skin is so taut over the remains, it looks like the Master has in reality been dead for years; a true example of the walking dead. But it is just a plan to get closer to his goal. He has faked his death. The Eye of Harmony is the nucleus of a black hole which gives the Master a new life and absolute power. But to attain that Gallifrey must fall into dust with the Doctor watching. Defeated the Master seemingly falls to his death but slips away in his grandfather clock Tardis.

We would meet this dessicated Master once again in the penultimate Tom Baker story Keeper of Traken. This time the Master has taken his Tardis to Traken where he has taken the form of Melkur. He again controls unsuspecting Trakens to do his bidding. This version is not as scary as the Deadly Assassin one. This time played by Geoffrey Beevers, husband of the late Caroline John 3rd Doctor companion Liz Shaw.

This time the mask was a seond skin so you could see the actor’s features allowing for more connection, something Jon Pertwee preferred for his monsters like the Draconians. This time the Master gains a new body in the form of the unfortunate Tremas, Anthony Ainley and would go on to haunt the Doctor until the final story of the classic era Survival.

But it is the Deadly Assassin version that sticks in the mind for the horror content alone. To see any familiar character even a villain twisted and deformed such as here is jarring to the audience but somehow draws them in with morbid curiosity.

Just Who is the Celestial Toymaker?

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Photos copyright bbc

This article is being written as all signs are that Neil Patrick Harris’s mysterious character in the upcoming three part 60th anniversary Doctor Who specials is in fact the Celestial Toymaker. If it is, he is just one of the many old enemies that have been revamped for the new era shows. But who is he? When did the Dcotor meet him? And is he behind the unusual regeneration from 13 to 14?

In the fifth Doctor adventure Enlightenment we met the Eternals, a race of immortals with no imaginations of their own, so bored with existence that they create games using humans to pass the time. In that instance the game took the form of a space race using old sailing ships from Earth history. The Toymaker is one such being although this has never been stated on screen but the comparisons are too exact to dismiss. He met the Doctor once on screen back in his first incarnation (William Hartnell) along with companions Steven Taylor (Peter Purves) and Dodo (Jackie lane). in the 1966 four part story the Celestial Toymaker. He was played by Batman’s Michael Gough. Sadly the first three episodes are missing leaving only the fourth episode The Final Test to see him in action. The Toymaker wore the attire of a Chinese Mandarin. If nothing else, the Eternals love theatrical scenarios and as the Master once said they like to dress for the occasion. He wouldn’t be the only all powerful god figure the Doctor would have to defeat using his wits and guile. Logic is the only way out of the games because like Fenric in the Curse of Fenric, immortals are driven mad by paradoxes and riddles.

This is mostly due to their complete lack of imagination. The scenarios they create are taken directly from the minds of humans. This means that at some point the Toymaker tricked some lover of games and toys and used that as a template to trap hapless travellers in his domain forever. Once defeated by the Toymaker, you were his for all eternity, another mind to pick apart in order to pass eternity.

To the Eternals we are merely ephermerals to be used as chattle for their games. It is revealed that the Doctor and Toymaker have met once before off screen and the televised story is in fact their rematch. Whatever happened, the Toymaker wants revenge for it just like the Curse of Fenric. He takes control of the Tardis and forces it into his realm. He then transports the Doctor away leaving Steven and Dodo to fend for themselves. This is an indication that he is solely focused on the Time Lord and that he sees the ephemeral Steven and Dodo as nothing to be concerned about as they will surely fail his games. We met several of his victims who are now clowns or dancers or Billy Bunter type characters.

Their purpose is to lead new arrivals into playing the games and ensuring they lose so they become like them. However they underestimate Steven and Dodo who have had their eyes opened during their travels aboard the Tardis. They manage to figure out each game and avoid getting turned. The strange characters they meet reflect pantomime and nursery rhymes but they were all human once until being taken by the Toymaker. Perhaps the children’s games they are faced with like musical chairs, hunt the thimble and blind man’s buff are reflections of how simple minded the Toymaker thinks they are. For the Doctor, he forces him to play a game of Trilogic which the Doctor must win in 1023 moves.

Imagine the mind of a Time Lord at the mercy of the Toymaker especially one like the Doctor’s. The games would be unthinkable. Having survived, they reach the Tardis which lands in the Toymaker’s room where the Doctor has almost completed the Trilogic game.

However the Dcotor realises that the game is booby trapped too because if he makes the final move the Toymaker’s realm will implode in on itself taking him with it. The Toymaker’s thirst for victory obviously runs deep if he is prepared to go this far. But for the second time the Doctor outwits his foe using ventriloquism to complete the final move from the Tardis doorway. He takes off just as the Toymaker and his world vanish.

Gough was praised for his portrayal of the Toymaker. With his distinctive looks and voice he embodied the alien aloofness while impressing his need to beat the Doctor at this game to restore his honour so to speak. Ironically Hartnell was on holiday for episodes 2 and 4 so a hand double was used as was the plot device that he was turned invisible. It says a lot for Gough that he was literally acting to air most of the time until the face to face final episode.

The Toymaker never returned to the small screen but he was due for a rematch in the aborted season 23 where he would once again face the Doctor this time in his sixth incarnation played by Colin Baker. In the Nightmare Fair their fight would be on the streets of Blackpool. Here the Toymaker has been trapped on Earth for centuries luring unsuspecting people to become his new puppets. He has been able to draw the Tardis here and lured the Doctor to witness his greatest triumph. He has created an aecade game due to go into mass production which will absorb all who lose when playing it and turn them into crystalline servants through which he will control Earth. I’m glad this story wasn’t made because it’s very so not the Toymaker. We learn he is in fact a powerful psychic from a dimension where time moves much slower. This gives him the illusion of immortality. The Eternal label is much better because he would not be interested in something as mundane as controlling the Earth. We also get a happy ending where all the Toymaker’s victims are freed from his control and return to normal life. Again this takes away from the horror of being an eternal plaything of the Toymaker. It’s all a bit twee which severely undermines the villain. Gough would have returned to play the Toymaker but he did do an audio play of Nightmare Fair for Big Finish so at least we got a version of it as well as book form.

Now it seems he is back in the form of Neil Patrick Harris causing chaos to face the Doctor once again. Judging by the trailers this my be the darkest battle yet.

Doctor Who: The Ginger Factor

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Photos copyright Owen Quinn

Sometimes you can see why Prince Harry is so diligent in his battle against the Press because when eleventh Doctor (Matt Smith) regenerated there was this whole backlash from the press making it out that the Doctor’s wail about not being ginger in this regeneration was a slur on ginger haired people. So was born Doctor Who hates gingers lies. Again this was fake news just to fill a column with shit. And again all you have to do is watch the scene and you’ll see what is really going on. And who’s fault was it?

The tenth Doctor’s.

In David Tennant’s debut story the Christmas Invasion, he is pulled from his coma by a flask of Jackie Tyler’s tea. This is the first time he has any sort of sense about himself in this new body. As he tells the Sycorax, he has no idea who he is or what his personality will be in this incarnation. He asks Rose if he is ginger. When she replies he’s sort of brown, the Doctor is annoyed. He says, “I wanted to be ginger! I’ve never been ginger!”

It os clear from this reaction and his words, that the Doctor is desperate to have a ginger incarnation. Maybe he was jealous of companion Turlough’s barnet back in his fifth incarnation.

The ginger issue never raised its head again until the Eleventh Doctor’s manic arrival in the End of Time. As the flaming Tardis crashes to Earth, the Doctor is checking his body out. He grabs a length of hair and exclaims “And still not ginger!”

This statement according to the press at the time was made out to be a big anti ginger thing which was not the case at all. While any publicity is good publicity, it shouldn’t be coated in misinformation to mislead the audience. I gave up reading newspapers long ago because I realised a lot of it was false and being controlled as to what was reported. While the ginger thing seems trivial to most people and probably passed most by, you have to remember that there may be someone out there especially a kid who may feel isolated as it is for being ginger haired. What of this is used against them in the playground? It was no longer a stigma to like Doctor Who as it was in my day so imagine the bullies used this falsehood to say that not even the Doctor likes gingers. If this kid is a fan of the show then these words could cause damage. Again while you may think I’m exaggerating, look at the statistics for bullied kids and the seemingly trivial reasons they are bullied. There is no such thing as trivial when it comes to what bullies use to torture their victim. Although in this day and age how anyone isn’t a fan of the show is a wonderful reversal from my youth. Still the point is valid.

Accurate reporting is vital and made up stories can impact younger fans who look up to the Doctor. Indeed a bullied child wrap themselves in television and movies. It’s easier than dealing with the bullies. But the bullies now watch the same shows the nerds and geeks do so they have invaded our only refuge. They find heroes in celluloid because there are no heroes in their life. So if you ever exaggerate something or make up a lie or something that spins off into something painful, don’t.

I should know because that kid was me.

Senescence by James Dwyer out now!

Presented by Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Dovid lives in a perfect world, free of crime, war, or poverty, and everyone is given everything they could possibly need. The only thing that could be considered wrong with this world (and there is no-one really that engages in such consideration) is that before you reach the age of sixteen you will lose one of your senses. Your eyes will fall out, or your nose will slide off, your tongue will decompose, your ears will rip free, or your skin will rot and harden into scar tissue. And nobody thinks this is strange.
People are given technological upgrades instead, that simulate the old sense-perception, and many even say improves upon it. In fact Dovid is distraught that he is the oldest person in the world at sixteen to have not received a single inability; he is abnormally normal. He lives a standard life in his self-sustaining island, which he never needs to leave, and has companionship in the form of his walls and their various smiley face facades. Dovid’s social interactions are limited to communications with his eyeless brother Mart, until his sixteenth birthday, when Dovid is convinced to leave his island and venture to a Physical Leisure Segment: a place where people are made to actually interact with other people in the flesh. The four options for this physical interaction are sexual, narcotic, violent or gluttonous; things that every normal person apparently does.
But what if Dovid is not normal? What if he has already received his inability and it is not the ability of sight or sound or touch or taste or smell. What if it is a sense of perception beyond those standard five, and worse, what if there are others like him?

Why Donna Noble’s Wedding Breaks Your Heart

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

A huge thing that Doctor Who fans have thirsted after for years is a true resolution to the fact Donna Noble cannot remember her time with the Doctor.

At the emotional end to the Journey’s End, the Doctor is forced to wipe every trace of Donna’s time with him from her mind to rid her of his Time Lord consciousness. If he doesn’t then she will die. Through her grandfather Wilf and Catherine Tate’s performance; travelling through time had made the once fickle Donna a better person. She was all Love Island and Pringles before she jumped aboard the Tardis. What we experienced was a true character arc which elevated Donna from a shallow person, chained by her life and disparaging mother, to a free spirit who found herself at last. The moment she woke up and thought she had missed yet another planet wide almost disaster, the old Donna is back and it isn’t until you see the transformation that you realise just how subtle and deep it was.

But it didn’t sit well with fans and when Donna returned for the tenth Doctor’s final story, many hoped she would somehow get her memory back. She does briefly but the memory causes an energy release that saves her life from both the memories and the Master. But her time with the Doctor still remained lost to her.

So why does her wedding tug at the heart strings so much?

When we first met Donna in The Runaway Bride, her groom was marrying her to feed her to the Raacnoss who was about to unleash her plague of babies upon the world. Thankfully her new husband, Shaun Temple, has no such intentions. Wilf conveys they are just a normal couple settling for each other. He sees that Donna is just trundling along because she has lost her memories. While happy for his beloved granddaughter, Wilf and her mother Sylvia know this is merely a ghost making the best of things. Donna has tasted the universe and could soar so high but she is destined to be just another statistic. She will be no one special. Every parent and grandparent wants their children to be better than they were and do things they never got to do. While that thinking is common, it also should be recognised that by committing to a family and offspring you are going to be skint and struggle to give them the life you want for them. The cost sadly is you sacrifice your dreams but that is life. It’s also the siurce if untold riches.

Second of all, the Doctor lands at a discreet distance in the graveyard standing like a ghost in the background until Sylvia sees him. He hands Wilf and Sylvie an envelope and tells them he borrowed a quid of a lovely man named Geoffrey Noble, Donna’s late father whom we met in The Runaway Bride. “Have that on me,” was what he said. Sylvia’s face hits the floor. The actor was due to return for series 4 but he sadly was unable to and passed away from cancer. Bernard Cribbins was drafted in as Wilfred Mott and the rest is history.

He is the father figure to protect his granddaughter in her father’s absence. Every girl wants her dad to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day so Geoffrey’s absence would be felt deeply. Having recently lost my younger brother, I can completely empathise with this. I will never see him again. When there is a family gathering his absence will be a huge shadow hanging over it even though he would tell you to get out there and have fun. Grief is not about regrets; grief is the emptiness when families gather and there is one less person at the dinner table for Christmas. It’s about having to tell the kids where their uncle has gone and seeing in their little faces they don’t understand at all. As the 13th Doctor says it is only sad because what came before was so special. But while we laugh and tell tales of him or any loved one who has passed, we feel that loss so keenly because in the end memories are all we have. Donna remembers her father but these memories that lifted her to be better are gone. Ironically Donna will not recall her first wedding as the Doctor was involved so to her Shaub is her one true love.

There is no doubt her late husband was firmly on Sylvia’s mind on Donna’s wedding day so to have the Doctor give her such a gift when all she has done is berate him since they first met, is a stark reminder that though they may be gone, our loved ones are never far away. Indeed the Doctor has bought a lottery ticket for the triple rollover ensuring Donna will never want for anything again. After resetting his friend like a mobile phone, the Doctor is a broken man in the last hours of his life. Donna will forever be the one he lost as sure as he lost Adric, Katarina and Sara Kingdom. His Donna is dead and will never return and with his impending regeneration, the Doctor will get new body and move on never looking back because he dare not. All he can is hope the money and new Husband will make Donna happy. The Doctor thought he could by letting her travel with him but in the end he destroyed her.

The Time Lord leaves without a word and it is Bernard Cribbin’s tearful farewell salute that really kills you. That man could get a tear from a stone but again it is more than that. They say at a wedding you lose a son or daughter but gain one at the same time. This time it is not the case. Wilfred encouraged Donna to travel with the Doctor because he knew she would be a better person for it. But the Dalek invasion and Davros’ plans took all that away. Wilfred is living his life through Donna’s amazing adventures and with her memory compromised, he jumps at the chance to travel in the Tardis and fight alongside the Doctor. In some way this is him and Donna’s legacy and by fate’s hands it is Wilf that ends the tenth Doctor’s life. Yet two people have died; the worst of it is that new Donna is just a ghost of the granddaughter he knew. He cannot even speak to her about her time in the Tardis so the nobles live a life of lies. Wilf also knows that this is the last time he will see the Doctor hence his tearful kiss and salute. Life will never be the same again for the Nobles as just as they feel the loss of Geoffrey, Sylvia and Wilf will miss the Donna that was and the amazing time traveller that saved then took her soul.

However destiny, time and fate are contrary things and as we know Donna’s story is far from over. Maybe, just maybe, the universe decided that it could not continue without the empty Donna we love. Maybe it’s about time something was done about that. Apparently the Doctor regenerated recently and there’s a trailer going about where the Doctor and Donna are back together. As always stay tuned because the fans are about to get a long overdue gift….maybe.

Doctor Who: Wild Blue Yonder Review: spoilers

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Copyright bbc

Last week in typical Donna fashion, she set fire to the brand new Tardis with a cup of coffee making it fly off uncontrollably to God knows where. En route they meet Isacc newton with his apple and a new word is introduced to the English language.

Now as they fall from the Tardis doors consumed by flames they find themselves somewhere that makes the Tardis run away in terror.

I went into this adventure with no prior knowledge of what was going to happen or any titbits whatsoever. A friend of mine would be sitting down in shock at that one because spoilers don’t annoy me in the slightest except when the twist is dumb (Yes you Star Trek Into Darkness ; Khan my ass). So what initially appeared as a talk filled story turned out to be an effects filled claustrophobic character piece that brings new sides to both the Doctor and Donna.

Trapped aboard a spaceship stuck in the middle of nowhere at the edge of the universe which is reconfiguring itself with a robot that takes a step with every configuration along with a bangimg and words they can’t make out, the travellers find themselves battling…themselves.

With no other cast it allows the story to focus on the Doctor and Donna and see what they are like fifteen years later. Are we the same people when we reunite with old friends? Old Donna was determined to travel with the Doctor forever but now her family is her focus. This trip with the Doctor is a fleeting thing for her and a step towards making sure he knows he is part of her family and welcome any time. So connected are the Nobles, old and new, with the Time Lord, he will always be family to them. Equally, you can see it in him too as he spoke about Wilf last episode and caught up on their lives. But she is the same old, kick ass Donna as ever but with time we change. And if Donna thinks her life has changed then the Doctor’s has been shattered and is still lying in pieces.

But these reveals are not made to each other but to two creatures that look exactly like them. Of course they don’t realise at first that it isn’t their friend until their arms are too long, literally. We get a touch of Mr Fantastic as limbs and jaws fall like rubber. There is a touch of the episode Midnight here as sthe aliens are assimilating the Doctor and Donna’s forms and minds so that when the Tardis returns they will take it. They are driven by what they can hear from our universe and want to live it all by whatever means necessary. They don’t want to be friends or allies; they just want to be complete. It also feels very fairy tale like with the giant Doctor and Donna bringing to mind Jack and the Beanstalk while the body popping Doctor reminds us of the Exorcist with a sprinkle of Event Horizon and the Black Hole. Maybe the Doctor used the salt trick like they use on leprechauns to test one theory.

We have only one episode before we lose this Doctor so we address how he feels about the revelations from the Timeless Children. His pain is that he no longer knows where he is from or where he belongs or who he truly is. While he is part of Donna’s family and once the Ponds’, this is a nice reflection and potential theme that his home is with people he loves. I think the whole Timeless Children story was a load of shit quite frankly that did not make sense and shoehorned and totally ignored elements of the show in to suit the new theory. Awful.

See how I show the illogic of it all by clicking on this link

How The Timeless Children Completely Screws Doctor Who

The Doctor is hurting but does not show it and despite the love of his friends, he may never get over it unless he gets some answers. Again all he has to do is open the chameleon fob watch hidden in the Tardis and at least get some answers so am I the only one shouting this at the screen?

Once the mystery is solved and the Doctor and Donna escape, the Doctor wonders if he made a mistake with the salt deception because the walls of reality are thin here and you never know who is listening. Why does that concern him so much ala naming Daleks in Destination Skaro? Is this connected to the Meep’s boss mention last week to be resolved in the final episode? We land back on Earth and meet Wilf patiently waiitng in the alley for them. A couple of days have passed and the human race has gone violent on a massive scale.

It is lovely to see Bernard Cribbins again and his delight at seeing the tenth Doctor’s face is touching given Bernard’s subsequent passing. Again this Doctor is more open emotionally than his other self and his joy is palpable.

So this is it. The final batlle between the Celestial Toymaker before the regeneration, Donna leaves, Tennant leaves and Ncuti Gatwa takes over. But then again, will it be that simple and pedestrian? Bringing Tennant back could not end so mekly. There has to be a twist in the tale. Is the Toymaker behind all of this and if so why? Revenge? Amusement? The joy of touring the Doctor by pitting him against his favourite species?

Overall, Wild Blue Yonder is a marvellous mystery piece that gives us a glimpse behind the Doctor’s mask like never before, a reminder that evil can wear our face and solid performances and direction all round.