Just Who is the Celestial Toymaker?

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

This article is being written as all signs are that Neil Patrick Harris’s mysterious character in the upcoming three part 60th anniversary Doctor Who specials is in fact the Celestial Toymaker. If it is, he is just one of the many old enemies that have been revamped for the new era shows. But who is he? When did the Dcotor meet him? And is he behind the unusual regeneration from 13 to 14?

In the fifth Doctor adventure Enlightenment we met the Eternals, a race of immortals with no imaginations of their own, so bored with existence that they create games using humans to pass the time. In that instance the game took the form of a space race using old sailing ships from Earth history. The Toymaker is one such being although this has never been stated on screen but the comparisons are too exact to dismiss. He met the Doctor once on screen back in his first incarnation (William Hartnell) along with companions Steven Taylor (Peter Purves) and Dodo (Jackie lane). in the 1966 four part story the Celestial Toymaker. He was played by Batman’s Michael Gough. Sadly the first three episodes are missing leaving only the fourth episode The Final Test to see him in action. The Toymaker wore the attire of a Chinese Mandarin. If nothing else, the Eternals love theatrical scenarios and as the Master once said they like to dress for the occasion. He wouldn’t be the only all powerful god figure the Doctor would have to defeat using his wits and guile. Logic is the only way out of the games because like Fenric in the Curse of Fenric, immortals are driven mad by paradoxes and riddles.

This is mostly due to their complete lack of imagination. The scenarios they create are taken directly from the minds of humans. This means that at some point the Toymaker tricked some lover of games and toys and used that as a template to trap hapless travellers in his domain forever. Once defeated by the Toymaker, you were his for all eternity, another mind to pick apart in order to pass eternity.

To the Eternals we are merely ephermerals to be used as chattle for their games. It is revealed that the Doctor and Toymaker have met once before off screen and the televised story is in fact their rematch. Whatever happened, the Toymaker wants revenge for it just like the Curse of Fenric. He takes control of the Tardis and forces it into his realm. He then transports the Doctor away leaving Steven and Dodo to fend for themselves. This is an indication that he is solely focused on the Time Lord and that he sees the ephemeral Steven and Dodo as nothing to be concerned about as they will surely fail his games. We met several of his victims who are now clowns or dancers or Billy Bunter type characters.

Their purpose is to lead new arrivals into playing the games and ensuring they lose so they become like them. However they underestimate Steven and Dodo who have had their eyes opened during their travels aboard the Tardis. They manage to figure out each game and avoid getting turned. The strange characters they meet reflect pantomime and nursery rhymes but they were all human once until being taken by the Toymaker. Perhaps the children’s games they are faced with like musical chairs, hunt the thimble and blind man’s buff are reflections of how simple minded the Toymaker thinks they are. For the Doctor, he forces him to play a game of Trilogic which the Doctor must win in 1023 moves.

Imagine the mind of a Time Lord at the mercy of the Toymaker especially one like the Doctor’s. The games would be unthinkable. Having survived, they reach the Tardis which lands in the Toymaker’s room where the Doctor has almost completed the Trilogic game.

However the Dcotor realises that the game is booby trapped too because if he makes the final move the Toymaker’s realm will implode in on itself taking him with it. The Toymaker’s thirst for victory obviously runs deep if he is prepared to go this far. But for the second time the Doctor outwits his foe using ventriloquism to complete the final move from the Tardis doorway. He takes off just as the Toymaker and his world vanish.

Gough was praised for his portrayal of the Toymaker. With his distinctive looks and voice he embodied the alien aloofness while impressing his need to beat the Doctor at this game to restore his honour so to speak. Ironically Hartnell was on holiday for episodes 2 and 4 so a hand double was used as was the plot device that he was turned invisible. It says a lot for Gough that he was literally acting to air most of the time until the face to face final episode.

The Toymaker never returned to the small screen but he was due for a rematch in the aborted season 23 where he would once again face the Doctor this time in his sixth incarnation played by Colin Baker. In the Nightmare Fair their fight would be on the streets of Blackpool. Here the Toymaker has been trapped on Earth for centuries luring unsuspecting people to become his new puppets. He has been able to draw the Tardis here and lured the Doctor to witness his greatest triumph. He has created an aecade game due to go into mass production which will absorb all who lose when playing it and turn them into crystalline servants through which he will control Earth. I’m glad this story wasn’t made because it’s very so not the Toymaker. We learn he is in fact a powerful psychic from a dimension where time moves much slower. This gives him the illusion of immortality. The Eternal label is much better because he would not be interested in something as mundane as controlling the Earth. We also get a happy ending where all the Toymaker’s victims are freed from his control and return to normal life. Again this takes away from the horror of being an eternal plaything of the Toymaker. It’s all a bit twee which severely undermines the villain. Gough would have returned to play the Toymaker but he did do an audio play of Nightmare Fair for Big Finish so at least we got a version of it as well as book form.

Now it seems he is back in the form of Neil Patrick Harris causing chaos to face the Doctor once again. Judging by the trailers this my be the darkest battle yet.