By and copyright of Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
The month before the 50th anniversary celebration in the Excel London I had the ChanCe to interview Richard Franklin about his career. He was genuinely more than accommodating, funny, his deep love of the fans and the show obvious and a true agent.
I met him several times over the years and every time it was a pleasure. When we met after our podcast at the con, he was very kind and made my son feel welcome as part of the new generation of fans. The last time we would meet would be in Belfast aalong with Katy Manning. So the news that he passed away on Christmas morning just hours before the Ncuti Gatwa era was due to begin has a certain symmetry about it. He would have loved it with that smiLe and T Bag the cat by his side. Now the only remaining members of that era are Katy Manning and John Levene. But the only consolation is that we can visit the UNIT era time and again on DVD and Blu Ray to revisit a truly magical era of Doctor Who.
Thank you Richard for talking to me and rest in peace. You will never be forgotten. Click below to hear the full unedited interview.
By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
Copyright BBC
So a lot is riding on this stpry. We met the new fifteenth Doctor at the climax of The Giggle with the biregeneration. But free from the confines of a regeneration story how does this new Doctor stand up? Did he do a good enough job to make the audience want to come back for more or is this the beginning of the end as many fear?
After due consideration, I enjoyed this a lot. Ncuti is so full of energy that his Doctor literally bounces off the screen. And his dancing at a club in a kilt distracts us from the fact that he is actually tracking a certain Ruby Sunday (Millie Gibson). Like the Doctor would do, he is operating on multiple levels trying to unravel the mystery. A lot of bad luck and coincidence surround Ruby which rubs off onto Davina McCall, making her second Doctor Who appearance after the Eccleston episode Bad Wolf.
What follows is a madcap fairytale set firmly at Christmas complete with a sing song. In among all the quick fire dialogue and goblin chasing to save a baby, we actually witness the set up for a new mystery which delivers a sting at th very end.
Ruby gets a solid and believable background as we discover she was left on the steps of the church on Christmas Eve when he wa born and her mother walked away from her. She became the long term foster child of Carla and Cherry who is desperate for a cup of tea. The Doctor taking time out to get to know her is very much him as he never forgets anyone. Carla’s new foster child Lulu is taken by goblins to be eaten by the Goblin King, a non CGI creation. The goblins are knd of fun, in a perpetual state of singing and daning while their king feats. Indeed the Doctor is deciphering their language of luck and coincidence while trying to save the baby. It takes a repeat viewing to catch everything and see what a tapestry the story really is. Although the Doctor manages to kill the king by impaling him on the church spire, the goblins fly off along the timelines ready for another day.
Chance and coincidence play a major role here in Ruby joining the Doctor. They are both adopted and the reason Davina is involved and subsequently murdered by the goblins is because Ruby has asked her show, Long Lost Family to try to find her relatives. It is a longing in Ruby that also exists in the Doctor given the revelation of his origins. Neither know who they really are or where they come from. Whn Ruby’s DNA is run by Davina, nothing comes up at all, devastating her. It is as if she just appeared. The obvious parallells to Clara spring to mind but I think it is much more complicated than that. I’m hoping it is nothing so mundane as a princess from another planet in hiding until the day she can claim her throne.
Why did the Doctor just watch her mother walk away into the night and do nothing? How did the Doctor become aware of Ruby’s run of bad luck? How does friendly neighbour Mrs Flood know that the police box is a Tardis and does sHe enccourage Ruby to enter it? There will be more on her in upcoming episodes but not in the way you think. Why did the goblins target first Lulu and then change history by killing Ruby from the same household? Why does Ruby never existing make Carla and Cherry’s lives so miserable? The whole story is an invite to Ruby to step aboard the Tardis which she does. It is a nicE touch that the Doctor hesitates about inviting her given his companions’ histories as detailed by the Toymaker in the last episode. He wonders if he is the bad luck. He waits patiently to see what chance and oincidence bring which is Ruby following him ready for adventure.
Ncuti Gatwa nails the charater of the Doctor from the start although his dancing in a night club may throw long time viewers as not being very Doctorish behaviour. But remember this is a Doctor free of guilt and regret of Time Wars and Fluxs enjoying life in a way he hasn’t in a long time. Besides, he is actually tracking Ruby so blends in so as to not rouse any suspicion. His exchange with the policeman about to propose to his girlfriend brings to mind memories of the TV movie Paul McGann with his suddenly knowing everyone’s [personal future. But again the Doctor is working on multiple levels deducing from his surroundings about both goblins and the impending engagement at the same time.
No Doctor or companion have had to do a song and dance during their first adventure but it comes off nicely fitting in with the goblin behaviours.
Overall the Church on Ruby Road is a great start to the new era although I can see some fans may not agree. Ncuti’s final line as he stands aboard the Tardis “I’m the Doctor” has shades of “And I would suggest you wait a little before criticising my new persona. You may well find it isn’t quite as disagreeable as you might think.. I am the Doctor whther you like it or not.” speech from Colin Baker’s debut stpry the Twin Dilemma. You want to board the Tardis with this Doctor gripped by his energy and enthusiasm. Plus he saved Davina from being killed by the star on top of a Christmas tree. Whether you are a national treasure or a tiny newborn, the Doctor cares for everyone.
From the trailer, if nothing else this is going to be an interesting journey. I;m aboard. Are you?
By and copyright of Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
More Zombies, more trouble. Welcome to book 2 of Zombie Blues who give us their view on the world and life from behind undead eyes. This time round meet Diabetic Zombie, Racist Zombie, the Ice Queen and why is there a zombie with no teeth? Now on Amazon
Social Media Hater Zombie
In this day and age it is so important to look good especially for posts on social media. The amount of likes we get is an indicator of how much people love us. At least, that’s what this celebrity culture has brainwashed us to do.
My name is Magda Holt and I’m overweight. While they say it’s all about what you eat and exercise, this isn’t exactly true. Genetics does have a big part to play in it. In a way I’m glad the world is soaked in the undead because the one thing that died with the apocalypse was judgement.
I grew up in the Netherlands, the birthplace of our famous giant bodybuilder Olivier Richters and up until the apocalypse I worked as a call centre operations manager.
Coming from a large family, my parents fed us well but it was the usual supermarket choices that were dictated by a budget. There’s nothing unusual in that as every family does it but my father was a great cook who could create feasts out of the smallest of morsels. At least he grew vegetables in his greenhouse which seemingly never stopped growing. It became a little side line for him as the neighbourhood began buying his wares. Our back garden became an allotment of sorts and we all chipped in. It was exciting for us as kids because our Dad was literally God feeding the street. As kids we played in the streets just like everyone else in our street but Dad’s vegetables made us slightly special in other kids’ eyes.
The countryside was our giant playground and summers seemed to last forever as we explored and played amid Mother Nature herself. Mother shooed us out in the morning and we retuned when we were hungry or tired. It gave her time to do her cleaning or catch up with Mrs Schneider about the goings on amid the neighbours. Unlike now we didn’t worry about bad men taking us or hurting children. Life was an eternal summer. Now it is a storm, a cacophony of wailing tears. We must have pissed Mother Nature off somehow playing in those fields; not that she is telling us in detail her reason for the infliction. When I think of growing up the images of playing in the woods and the fields having so many adventures down by the streams is all I can think of. We ate wild blackberries and gooseberries, made daisy chains and explored ponds filled with tadpoles and newts.
Up until I turned I had nothing but great memories of nature. It was a love that never left me and I encouraged my kids to explore the great outdoors as often as possible. Television was a rationed luxury and our social media was telling each other ghost stories, drawing or pretending to be in a girl band.
In my day body image wasn’t an issue. It was a bit like the generation gap. You just got a clip round the back of the head for giving cheek to your parents.
But now it is. The internet and celebrity culture has flooded our minds with images of how we should look like. We have lost the joy of revelling in what we look like. My husband, Alper. has never complained about my curves. Indeed from the first time we made love in his parent’s basement, he insists he loves a bit of fat on his steak. Five kids later his love of my steak never dwindled.
Neither of us was perfect. Despite being a fireman, Alper was never shredded like those in this calendars they sell and I have yet to have an hour glass figure.
By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
Photo copyright Warnr Bros
So after last week’s borefest we jump right in with a return to the flashbacks. Keiko and Shaw are suddenly attracted to each other and it kind of left me thinking, did I miss something or wasn’t I paying attention. Anyway their plans are interrupted when Shaw is called to duty. Something is coming but they have to split up in order to ensure Shaw is there to attend the meeting so they get the funds for Monarch to continue. Shaw isn’t happy with this but agrees while Bill and Keiko fly off. I must not have been paying attention before but Shaw is suddenly a love sick puppy who it is clear wants to have babies with Keiko. That’s all good and fine given we know she ends up with Bill so it’s a nice change from daddy issues and sulky teenagers.
There they meet Doctor Suzuki who has designed a device to attract Titans. He believes they exist but has never seen one. He is delighted when Keiko confirms that they do and they have seen one. Of course it isn’t too long before Godzilla arrives proving he didn’t die in the nuclear explosion a couple of episodes ago. However Shaw turns up missing the vital meeting resulting in the military taking control of Monarch. Needless to say Keiko is no longer in the mood for making babies. Shaw is responsible for what Monarch is today.
In the present day, Shaw has now teamed up with Tim’s sidekick Mademoiselle and gathers up May, Cate and Kentaro. He reveals Monarch is splintered and there are others that want him to lead them to reveal the true nature of the Titans. Shaw knows Monarch is wrong and have refused to listen to him for all these years. Now they have a chance to put things right before it’s too late. Is it me or is Mademoiselle just stringing them along? Is Shaw still influenced by his love for Keiko that he will do anything to prove her right or is he so guilt ridden for allowing Monarch to be taken from them that he will do a deal with the devil regardless of the outcome? Or is there really a splinter group within Monarch?
The Randa kids find their dad in a valley using a variation of Doctor Suzuki’s device but it is not a happy reunion. He waves them away before driving off. Too late the ground cracks and crumbles as Godzilla rises from beneath the surface. Now this is an impressive sequence as our heroes are caught in the landslide. The big fella’s return is what we have wanted to see all along and it doesn’t disappoint. With all these new Titans appearing we know there is going to be a kick arse throw down.
I was so excited now we have answers and a concrete direction until….the gang breaks up again in yet another middle of nowhere location while Shaw leaves them to go help Godzilla. And that took away from the atmosphere generated by the episode so far. Talk about a mood hoover.
Is the viewer supposed to do a drinking game where instead of taking a shot every time we see or hear Titans mentioned, you take a shot when the gang break up for the dumbest of reasons and in the dumbest of locations. At this rate, I’m already wasted. Writers look at what you are doing and sort it but the only thing keeping me here right now is the monsters are gathering and I want to be there for it.
By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
Photo copyright CBS
I was recently made aware of just how many movies and television shows the younger generation have never heard of, never mind seen. So to that end, we look back at some characters you really need to see before you kick the bucket.
In September 2005 a new sci-fi series debuted on television called Threshold. The show featured several big names including Peter Dinklage as Arthur Ramsey. It would run for one season. CBS messed about with scheduling and did not support the show whose quality is top notch. Such was the show mishandled that the final four episodes went unaired until Sky 1 aired them and now they can also be seen on YouTube.
In Threshold, an alien species that exists in four or five dimensions send a probe to our world. The probe is witnessed by the crew of a ship and emits a signal, sounding like shattering glass, upon which said crew immediately begin to transform. Some survive while the others escape into our society. Rather than an alien invasion with space ships, these aliens transform us at the genetic level into them. Instead of terraforming, they are bioforming us. There is no waste or destruction; everything is intact as the aliens take over. However the process does not work on every person, horribly mutilating them in their death throes. Nor is this signal limited to humans as animals are affected too, for example a senator plays a copy of the probe footage which kills his girlfriend and turns their cat into a vicious mutation.
Molly Caffrey is a high level crisis management consultant whose job it is to come up with plans for disasters including alien contact. Her plan for this scenario is activated and goes under the codename Threshold. Caffrey brings together a team of top specialists including the arrogant Arthur Ramsey whose genius only matches his ego. Played By future Game of Thrones star Peter Dinklage, Ramsey would become a key part of Threshold.
He was a free spirit, used to being his own man living as he wished, when he wished. Being forced into Threshold he is monitored and a lot of that free will is taken away. He initially resists but is given an option by agent Cavanagh (Brian Van Holt); door number 1 or door number 2. One leads to working to save the planet or go to a black unit facility where he will be kept indefinitely. Needless to say he picks to fight the aliens.
Ramsey is a mathematical genius fluent in over 200 dialects. His linguistic skills are second to none as he is able to tell if an Asian criminal is faking not being able to speak English. Being trapped by the chains of Threshold makes Ramsey a rebel, always telling his superiors just how he hates being confined by their rules. He is rude and does not know where to draw the line between speaking his mind and keeping his opinions to himself. He becomes a double act with fellow Threshold agent Lucas (Supernatural’s Rob Benedict). Lucas is a lot more timid than Ramsey and is religious. Ramsey scoffs that on the eighth day, God made aliens. He is quick to belittle everyone and everything but we learn as the series progresses that Ramsey is terrified of being converted by the alien signal and all his bravado is a public mask.
But Ramsey is brilliant at what he does and he is vital to the Threshold team. He and Lucas make a great double act going on several investigations together. After being held at gunpoint by a bank robber on the run in the episode The Order, it is Lucas that takes him down with his gun that is designed to stun the infected only. It fires an electrical discharge which will kill a human. When Ramsey finds out Lucas could have fired earlier, he freaks out but Lucas held back until the the robber touched something that would act as a breaker for the charge, stunning him rather than killing him. This demonstrates that Ramsey is all for ‘shoot now ask later’ especially when his life is in danger.
But we see his tender side when he and Lucas have to protect a baby from its infected mother. They work together to fool the Terminator like mother from taking her baby back. In the Crossing, Ramsey’s security guard friend Adams is infected and agrees to be part of an experiment to track what happens when a person is taken over by the infection. Ramsey is not happy with this but gets to say goodbye to Adams. This only makes him both even more fearful of the alien and determined to stop them so he loses no one else. We see the more human side of Ramsey here and he even surprises Lucas in The Order. A local diner is forced to close when they find part of the premises has had infected wood that has been giving off frequencies that make people dream. Lucas is distraught that someone’s livelihood is gone but Ramsey reveals he made sure the reward money for the capture of the bank robber went to the diner owner. Otherwise Ramsey loves to drink, party and gamble. He runs up online gambling debts which Threshold has to take care of bringing him into conflict with his boss Baylock (Charles S Dutton). Baylock knows Ramsey is spiraling out of control and reaches out. In a seeming about face, Ramsey assures him that he is fine and has kicked his bad habits. However he is seen still drinking and falling deeper into his inner turmoil.
Not once is Ramsey’s dwarfism mentioned in the series. He acts just like a regular sized person even having bed scenes. Threshold does a great job of breaking down barriers and stereotypes which has continued to this day. Ramsey is funny when he is scared which is seen when the woman he is in bed with is attacked and killed by a stranger while Ramsey stares in horror. His sense of self preservation is second to none and it is a great shame we never got to see how it played out in a second season. If it had we would have discovered that his dwarfism would have played a key role in a way to stop the invasion. But alas we will never know.
For now all you can do is go to YouTube and watch Threshold in all its shortlived glory and relish the multilayered brilliance of one Arthur Ramsey.
By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
Watch any child play with toys and you are witnessing a brand new world being created right before you that only they are privy to.Every single story begins behind the wide eyes of a mesmerised child.
People often ask what inspires me to come up with sci fi or horror scenarios and aliens. I’ve written an article here on that very subject of inspiration and ideas. Read it by clicking on the link here https://timewarriors.co.uk/2023/04/03/to-sit-down-and-write-get-off-your-arse/ However there is one thing I actually forgot about and yet have surrounded myself with them all my life and will enjoy to the day I die.
As a child you are forever creating stories with your toys and when I was young, it was the Star Wars toys especially that gave us our new Star Wars adventures and spin offs along with the comic strip in Star Wars Weekly. I had a Tardis and a Star Trek transporter that could send my imagination anywhere and to any time. So when my Dad built a rockery in our garden it was the site for many new Star Wars adventures and with the plethora of figures released anything could happen and crossovers between shows were common long before it became popular. Luke Skywalker travelled in the Tardis and R2 was beamed to a lost dimension of Transformers characters. So in this series I will look at the toys that blew me away as a kid and helped spin new worlds in my head. Every single story begins behind the wide eyes of a mesmerised child.
I love the unmasked Darth Vader for many reasons not least of which is the controversy of Sebastian Shaw’s force ghost being replaced by Hayden Christensen in one of George’s many tweeks. But from a writing point of view it reminds me that to write a good villain, you must ensure they are multilayered. People don’t set out to be baddies and life and circumstance sometimes throw you into that dark pit. Anakin was on to a downward slide from the start with only Obi Wan and Padme on his side. But his was a life of strife and separation from his mother thanks to an order that did not want him in the first place. Then when he failed to save his mother from death at the hands of the Sand People he never recovered. Such was his pain that it allowed the Emperor to get inside his head and tap the raw power for the dark side of the Force.
No one is truly all bad with a few exceptions so when writing a story you need to give a human dimension to the baddie. It is up to you if they have any glimmer of redemption further down the line just like every villain in the Fast and the Furious movies. But is a villain a villain due to circumstance, manipulation or because they were born bad? How big a threat do they and should they pose to your heroes in your story?
For the Time Warriors books, my intention was always to ensure the bad guys were not just one dimensional figures. Sandara Vendris hates Varran because she blames him for the destruction of their home world Xereba. Add into this that she lost the love of her life and Varran’s enemy, General Solos, and miscarried their baby, so this all sets her on a vengeful path. If Sandara has lost her family then Varran deserves to lose his too with Earth to be reshaped into the new Xereba. Similarly the arachnoid Mentara are not simply scavenging the battlefields of Earth for flesh. Their agenda runs much deeper to the point that when you discover their secret you don’t look at them the same way again.
So when you see Vader without his helmet, you see a man who found in his children a reason to stand up against evil, sacrificing his own life in the process. Even Hannibal Lector has a redeeming quality; his respect for Clarice, which he has for no-one else as well as a desire to help her capture serial killers that may get in his way.
So when constructing your villains just think of them stroking a kitten as they watch innocent civilians get executed and the rest will fall into place.
More Zombies, more trouble. Welcome to book 2 of Zombie Blues who give us their view on the world and life from behind undead eyes. This time round meet Diabetic Zombie, Racist Zombie, the Ice Queen and why is there a zombie with no teeth?
Now on Amazon
Racist Zombie
Life (or should that be unlife?) as a zombie does have an unexpected side effect. It gives me time to reflect on the life I’ve lost. I could cry if it wasn’t so laughable. I look around me and see…well, perhaps I should tell my story first. It’s as valid as any of the others you’ve heard so far and of those yet to come. I wish I could have seen into other peoples’ minds as easily when I was human. Even that has made me revaluate who I was.
Jason Crawford is my name. I almost said was but I’m still here even if my outer appearance doesn’t exactly make the ladies swoon any more. At this point in the apocalypse I believe I’m shambling through Wembley near the stadium.
I don’t know where it started but all my life I believed our kind was superior: that we had been put on this Earth to rule over the others. By our kind I mean white people. I had little dealings with people of colour growing up.
Growing up in the town of Shapley, we were predominantly white. Of course we had Chinese and Indian restaurants and take-aways but at school there was one Asian kid whom we kept at a distance.
I suppose you think I was brought up in a house that hated coloureds. Well, you’d be wrong. My parents ran a pub and all sorts came through their doors. As an only child I was forced to fight back against the bullies so my life would not be as miserable as Bobby Cain. That poor kid was tormented on a daily basis but it was his own fault; he should have had the balls to fight back. He simply wasn’t tough enough. He was also black.
What? Are you disgusted by my attitude? Don’t judge before you know the facts. In this day and age world leaders have given people like me a voice to stand up and show who we really are; to show the world that people like that should know their place. In a world where we are told to speak the truth, it is apparent that my truth hurts the snowflakes and humanists.
I didn’t grow up like this. I’m a product of nature rather than nurture. I simply had no exposure to any other colour so my world has always been predominantly white.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t belong to any groups or want to immigrate to America to join the Klu Klux Klan or any of that nonsense but I can understand where they are coming from. Later in life I attended some rallies in London when the circumstances called for it.
I used to sit at home in the evenings when my parents were at work watching all sorts of documentaries on the History Channel. I watched all the stuff about Nazi Germany and while everyone else saw the atrocities, I found that I could see Hitler’s mind. He had valid reasons to protect his race which mirrored those of today. I understood that. I also saw how the Christians waltzed into foreign countries and made the natives embrace Jesus. The native ways were branded heathen and devil like letting the word of God reduce their culture to fit the will of the missionaries. If only the missionaries were here right now to see how these other cultures were trying to change us. There is only one God just as the national anthem says. All this other rubbish that is used to justify terrorism on our own soil should be absorbed by the Lord just as they did in the past. If I went to their countries I wouldn’t get away with it. How would you feel if someone simply walked in to your home and demanded you change your décor to suit them? Or what if you went to a restaurant for dinner only to be told you could only eat foreign food? That’s the danger you see. They try to enforce their beliefs and customs on us, the indigenous race. Would they be so accommodating if we did it to their homes or enforce our customs on them?
By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
So we’re halfway through this 10 part season and I’m not a happy bunny.
After such a strong start we are still in the ever drawn out Randa family crisis, Cate’s survivor guilt and May hate the world. While May’s character gets a twist in th end of the episode, I’m asking myself were the writers given ten episodes and told to fill them out or is there an actual plan to this season?
As I said, it was a great start but last week we wandered about snow and ice bitching and surviving impossible odds and this week we wander about devastated San Francisco with the siblings finding common ground and Cate’s survivor guilt once again. While it is fascinating to see the aftermath of the Godzilla attack I want to explore that,, not see Cate gurning again. The whole concept of the Red Zone is great where Cate’s mother and her want to be boyfriend James recover people’s possessions and where looters are shot on sight. But why not rebuild rather seal it off? What does Monarch know we don’t? It is however a nice reminder that these Titans leave physical and emotional damage their wake that is not easy to come back from.
According to an imprisoned Shaw, Monarch know nothing and have gotten it all wrong. He is their captive and is unafraid of the Director’s threats. Shaw knows more than they do including w he isn’t much older than he is. Monarch think they know what the Titans are all about but Shaw holds the superior ground. While May and the Randa siblings are sent on their way, they fly back to San Francisco to the Red Zone and where Cate troubled relationship with her mother goes to some way explain her behaviour. Between survivor’s guilt and her mother revealing she pushed Cate to go to Tokyo becasue she suspected but hadn’t got the balls to go see for herself if her suspicions were correct and her husband was leading a double life.
This is a perfect example of what the writers should have done from the start. Cate and her mother find common ground and resolve their issues by the end of the episode. The Red Zone contains their father’s office where they find a major clue to the Titans and where he might be or at least, where he went. Now it’s global so can we now leave all the emotional drama behind and get busy with story.
If you create a series based on giant monsters then they need to be as equal in focus to the story as the human characters. If these upcoming episodes do not match the scale of the movies or bring the audience what they expect bar fleeting moments of monster then the wrong people are writing and producing this show and need to go back to the drawing board.
Thus far the ship is sinking so if they pull it round for the final episodes and make it to a second season, we need a complete rethink of story structure and plot resolution. Character angst should be part of a character not their be all for several episodes. The horror series From did this brilliantly in their first season but dragged a major plot point and development for far too long reducing the impact in their second season.
By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
Watch any child play with toys and you are witnessing a brand new world being created right before you that only they are privy to.Every single story begins behind the wide eyes of a mesmerised child.
People often ask what inspires me to come up with sci-fi or horror scenarios and aliens. I’ve written an article here on that very subject of inspiration and ideas. Read it by clicking on the link here https://timewarriors.co.uk/2023/04/03/to-sit-down-and-write-get-off-your-arse/ However there is one thing I actually forgot about and yet have surrounded myself with them all my life and will enjoy to the day I die.
As a child you are forever creating stories with your toys and when I was young it was the Star Wars toys especially that gave us our new Star Wars adventures and spin-offs along with the comic strip in Star Wars Weekly. I had a Tardis and a Star Trek transporter that could send my imagination anywhere and to any time. So when my Dad built a rockery in our garden it was the site for many new Star Wars adventures and with the plethora of figures released anything could happen and crossovers between shows were common long before it became popular. Luke Skywalker travelled in the Tardis and R2 was beamed to a lost dimension of Transformers characters. So in this series I will look at the toys that blew me away as a kid and helped spin new worlds in my head. Every single story begins behind the wide eyes of a mesmerised child.
Whether you like it or not Return of the Jedi was a tsunami of alien creatures. Fans all over the world would soon add them to their collections. But there was something special about getting those figures as there was no internet back then. The feeling of walking into a store and seeing a full wall of figures all hanging from pegs was a sight to behold. There was a certain magic in it that no longer exists today due to online shopping. To have the figures you wanted in your hands having fallen for them in the movie never fails to incite excitement. You can’t wait to get it home and open it to play with. Of course if we knew then what we know now, we’d have bought two or at least begged our parents to pay for two, one for play, one for the future.
Now, I’ve collected Star Wars stuff all my life but when I watched Return of the Jedi in the cinema the first monsters that made me sit up and stare were the pig like Gamorrean Guards of Jabba the Hutt’s palace. There was something about them that determined that this was going to be a figure I wanted badly. Now I don’t mean the awful tacky Gamorreans from the Book of Boba Fett which were simply rubber masks on shirtless larger men and did not look right at all. I mean the originals in full armour that Luke choked with a brush of the Force.
When one of them got eaten like a marshmallow by the Rancor monster, I was like “NOOOOOO!” I had gotten attached to them that fast. So when I finally got the figure I was delighted. He was big and burly with a hefty axe that could take a head off. He was green, big, beautiful and mine. I eventually got a second one which became the Gamorean twins working at Jabba’s palace to send information to both the rebel alliance and the Empire. Loyalty wasn’t an issue for them; money was to feed their families back on Gamor. The adventures they had alongside the rebels were endless like Waterworld or the log forests of the rockery. Damn I could write a book.
And that’s the point.
There are no barriers to a child’s imagination; only time when mum calls you for dinner, visit granny’s house or sleep. What you are subconsciously doing is creating storylines, sorting plot holes and creating new characters to populate the world the figure populates and seeing where it goes. If you are a storyteller then this is exactly what you will do when tackling a story. And not realising it you are training yourself to focus on what you like to see in a story and what excites you to write. Even we writers have to enjoy the story too or we end up leaving the story as a bad job.
I still have my Gamorrean Guard to this day but did have to get a repo axe to replace the original. So jump forward forty years to the anniversary of Return of the Jedi’s theatrical release.
A new series of 6 inch figures are announced and among them is the Gamorrean Guard. Only this time he is bigger and bulkier than ever with multiple weapons included. When I saw him on display with the others I just fell in love with him all over again. The packaging was bulkier than the rest but that was to be expected due to his design and size. It was the one that immediately caught the eye but was more expensive than the others. I was thrown back there and then to my Gamorrean twins fooling rebels and imperials alike beneath the very nose of Jabba the Hutt. I was back in the rockery, in Waterworld bath, the record player where an elastic band held Princess Leia to the central pole the record slid onto and Luke had to get past the Gamorrean to rescue her before the record ended. I thought of my Gamorrean in the house in dire need of a big brother. So when one arrived expectantly for my birthday I was delighted. Not that I open the packaging anymore. So he sits on my shelf proudly and that kid in me that never grew up looks at him and smiles. He winks back secure in the knowledge that his double agent life still continues and his family are safe and secure.
As much as I love this figure, it still doesn’t stop me eating bacon sandwiches with brown sauce.
The Time Warriors and Beyond 