A Wookie Wasted: The Sad Tale of Kelnacca

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Photos copyright Disney

So as of episode four of the Acolyte, I will not be reviewing it. I had no idea of the behind the scenes rubbish about R2D2 being a lesbian and C3P0 being gay. Lead actress Amandla Stenberg seems to think all Star Wars nerds are gay; at least the ones she knows. The amount of disrespect I am seeing towards long time fans is disgusting. I am rarely shocked or taken aback by anything but those attitudes just suck. The more Disney does with Star Wars, the more it diminishes the magic of the originals and I count the sequels in that sphere.

Apparently the Acolyte was described by critics as the gayest Star Wars yet but I never saw that. All I am seeing is something that started promisingly but had reduced to lazy writing, cliché and woke claptrap. If ever there was a saga that real world agendas should never be allowed in, Star Wars is it. There is a timeless fairy tale quality about it that dissolved the minute Osha asked was their tracker creature a he or a they. It jarred so badly and brought the galaxy far, far away slap bang into our front doors.

But the purpose of this article is to highlight that these writers and directors actually have no idea what they are doing. When the idea of a Jedi Wookie was put to Director Leslye Headland she was all for it. It is also something fans have wanted to see as it would be fascinating to see how a volatile Wookie fits into the Jedi way.

The idea of a Wookie Jedi in live action is pure gold but, like the actor Charlie Barnett that plays Yord who thinks that Anakin Skywalker blew up the Death Star as does his co-stars who never corrected him, it is clear the writers and director had no idea what to do with such a character

We have had Wookie Gungi who has appeared in the animated shows The Clone Wars and The Bad Batch. But the idea of a live action Wookie Jedi is too good to resist. Given the anticipation we were sure that the showrunners would deliver in spades.

We should have known better.

Kelnacca played by The Force Awakens Chewbacca, Joonas Suotamo is mentioned and revealed as a Wookie early on in the show. Now the smart money would have been to keep his Jedi heritage a secret and just promote that there would be a new Wookie character. The drama and reveal would be carefully drip fed until he whipped a sabre out in battle but sadly no. He was just there. Other characters spoke about the Wookie Jedi openly spoiling the secret. If it was meant to get us excited then it failed badly. We learn that after the events of Brendok, Kelnacca cleared off in shame to the planet Kohfar to get away from people because of his shame.

The photos released gave the impression of a wise Jedi master different in nature to Chewbacca from the design alone. A trait they did share we would discover is that Wookie’s are good mechanics. These photos merely stirred the pot. however his first appearance at the end of episode two fell flatter than a pancake.

We see scavengers looting from some type of settlement before Kelnacca runs out of the forest and scares them off by using the Force. The audience, including me got excited as would meet him in a fully fleshed manner in episode three but that didn’t happen. Kelnacca is one of four Jedi being hunted and murdered by Mae for what happened on Brendok; something so terrible that Kelnacca went into self imposed isolation. Mae is on the way to find him as are Osha, Sol, Yord and other Jedi but episode three was a flashback to the events on Brendok. Kelnacca is finally seen in full Jedi robes yet contributes nothing to the story at all. He is simply wallpaper. Ok we thought, episode four will put him front and centre.

All we get is finding his dead body sitting upright slain by a lightsabre. And that’s it.

Never have I seen such a wasted opportunity to create a character that will impact the Star Wars universe. Why was Leslye Headland so excited about this inclusion yet did nothing with it? The writers delivered nothing new, creative or never been done before with a character that has never been done before in live action. We have seen Chewbacca, his family in the Holiday Special and the Wookie army in Revenge of the Sith. Kelcanna was a character that could open up the Wookie species even more letting the audience explore and learn about a new aspect of their existence.

But am I surprised? No not really. The Acolyte writers have done a lazy job on the show; pace and the buildup of drama is sorely missing. We have cliché after cliché with twins divided by good and evil, space witches that cackle just like the ones out of Hansel and Gretel and the Jedi council who refuse to act even though they know there is something brewing out there that is killing their kind. It is very sloppy and in Kelnacca’s death episode characters switch purposes at the drop of a hat.

Are the writers not excited by the possibilities to do something new and evocative? Do they see Star Wars characters in a certain way and are afraid to let them step outside what has gone before? Or have they been censored in some way to keep things as fans “expect” them to be? Sorry but just having a Wookie walk in wearing a Jedi robe and adding nothing or participating in the action is criminal. We know Disney’s vision of Star Wars has been sinking fast under a wave of woke nonsense, causing them to lose billions with the Mandalorian being only the real runaway success story. Ahsoka also suffered from plodding storylines that led to a end of season cliffhanger that nobody got excited by. But at least their characters get to do things.

Poor Kelnacca got to do nothing and his onscreen time in four episodes has been less than ten minutes, if he returns in flashback in the remaining episodes it will be case of so what?

A Wookie walking the line between following the Jedi way and their volatile nature is TV gold. What would that lightsaber battle look like? Down to basics, it is Bigfoot using magic. Shame on you Disney and shame on you headland and co for showing the world just how little you know about interesting characters and creating drama.

Kelcanna the Jedi Master Wookie: rest in peace. You were nothing but an unfulfilled promise.

Amendment: Kelnacca did indeed return in flashback in episode 7. He cooked and did a spot of metal detecting. He was also possessed by the coven and tried to kill Sol and Torbin in a sabre fight. I thought for a moment I had been premature in my article but no. The chance was there to see a Jedi Wookie in full bloodthirsty battle mode being controlled by witches but it wasn’t taken. It was just a standard sabre fight with nothing spectacular about it. Now if it had been Kelnacca that slayed every witch in a possession gone wrong because they underestimated a Wookie’s rage then I would have deleted the above. If nothing else episode 7 proved my point. I rest my case.