By and copyright Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
“I got outside and realised I only had my hospital gown on which promptly fell off because it wasn’t tied at the back. I was naked…almost. When they do an operation like this, you’re fitted with a catheter. So there I am, naked as the day I was born with a big frigging catheter hanging between my legs. I am scundered, I thought to myself. I tried to remove it but my zombie fingers wouldn’t work.”For far too long zombies have been seen as the monsters they are not so it’s time for a few changes! Welcome to Zombie Blues where you will discover what really goes on behind those dead eyes and shuffling walk. You will meet ten different zombies each with a story to tell. From Vegetarian Zombie to Kidney Trans[plant Zombie to The Zombie who would be King, you will reevaluate everything you thought you knew about the undead. You will finally get to hear their side of the story. What lies behind their tears and how did the apocalypse really begin? Enter if you dare because everything you knew about zombies is about to change.
It was a day like any other.
We had three newborns that morning alone, two boys and a girl. There was Henry first, born at a quarter past seven after a twenty three hour labour. Then we had Jasmine delivered at ten to nine after thirty minutes. Last but not least we had Charlie, a bruiser of a baby at ten pounds arriving at seven minutes past ten. His poor mother forgot her pain immediately I placed him in her arms. Strangely all mothers do that. That’s why we’re superior to men: we have a higher pain threshold. The air was abuzz with new life and new hope as the warmth and joy of a newborn on a family spread as quickly as the zombie virus. It filled everyone with a happy buzz.
Little did we know that chaos was brewing nearby as the emergency department was overrun with victims of some mysterious pathogen. Governmental cuts had stretched us to breaking point over the years but this was nuts. And while the world was falling apart, we were safe in our cocoon of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahs’.
We would take the babies to clean them up before returning them to their mothers. It was a necessary time to give those ladies much needed rest after the birth.
Standing watching over the babies in their cradles was truly like seeing a miracle come to life. I dismissed my sudden light head as mere fatigue from such a busy morning. Blood sugars were probably low, I thought to myself. I was on my way to get a sugar filled coffee and a jam doughnut (I know sugar’s bad for you but given what was coming, it doesn’t really count anymore) and when I heard a commotion.
It was one of the porters. It was Pete, a thin man with tattoos right up to his neck. He was screaming and yelling clutching his shoulder which I could see was blood stained. My immediate reaction was to shut him up in case he disturbed the children. There was nothing worse than a room full of babies crying in fear because some fool had blundered into the wrong part of the hospital.
I rushed up to him as he stumbled and fell against the wall. Pete was writhing in agony, his skin paltry and soaked in sweat. His mouth kept opening and closing as if he were trying to speak. I swore he was calling to his loved ones. It didn’t register with me until he bit my hand that his ‘speaking’ was in fact biting. I screamed and recoiled, falling backwards. I instinctively lashed out and kicked him in the face. His head jolted back and smacked into the wall with a force that knocked him unconscious.
Everything was a blur then as visitors and colleagues ran up to assist me. There were a lot of confused panicked voices. I could hear someone talking calmly to me through the storm. Jenny I think it was, a fellow midwife. But there were other voices, other cries. My vision was getting blurry but I could see other people lurching up the corridor. There were frightened screams and I was pulled down the corridor by someone. I could hear the babies crying. I tried to stand up but couldn’t. My whole body seemed to be on fire and my mind was becoming muddy with strange urges like chicken. Little did I know at the time but the reason no one made a go for me was because I was transitioning. It was at that moment that I knew what was happening to me as Mother Nature filled my head with her plans.
The Time Warriors and Beyond 