Trek issues: Janeway’s crap impersonations

By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues

Photos copyright Paramount Pictures

As a sci-fi fan, the smallest things often become a big issue or niggle away at you until you say something or make comment on it. While this will not be a long article, it is something that has always sat in the back of my mind since I initially caught it on during the first time I watched the Star Trek Voyager episode Scorpion part one.

In Scorpion part one, Voyager has finally reached Borg space and inadvertently find themselves caught in a war between their cybernetic enemies and Species 8472. Species 8472, dwellers in another dimension made of fluidic material, has been destroying Borg cubes making them more powerful than the cyborgs. There is one safe passage through Borg space that Voyager needs but it is swarming with Species 8472 ships. This forces Janeway into making an unholy alliance with the Borg much to her first officer’s, Chakotay, chagrin. This causes tension between captain and first officer but events will bring a new crew member aboard when Voyager helps save the Borg.

When Janeway desperately tries to find a way through Borg space, she looks back to logs from captains that have fought the Borg previously. To be fair, all they have to go on is the episode Q Who when Q flings the Enterprise to the Delta Quadrant where they meet the Borg for the first time ever. The following meeting was the Best of Both Worlds when Picard was transformed into Locutus of Borg. Hundreds died in the battle of 359 as showcased in Deep Space 9’s debut The Emissary. Sisko lost his wife in the massacre beforetaking command of DS9.

Chakotay finds Janeway mulling over the logs searching for something that will let her figure out how the Borg think and find a way to get the ship through their space unharmed. He sits and they discuss the logs. Janeway then reads Jean Luc Picard’s log about the Borg from his experiences then moves to a section of one Captain Amasov’s log from the Endeavour. We can only assume he was a survivor of Wolf 359. Chakotay smiles to himself causing Janeway to stop and ask him why he is laughing. He reveals she was doing a good impersonation of Amasov using his inflections. He adds that she was doing a pretty good Jean Luc Picard too.

Now when I heard that, I near choked on my cornflakes. What was Chakotay hearing? Janeway no more sounded like Jean Luc Picard than I look like a six foot giraffe. I’m pretty sure that Amasov would also say she sounded nothing like him inflections or not. Has Chakotay been smoking something or is this a case of an almighty ass kissing? The next time Neelix organises a talent night, please God do not let Janeway do any impersonations and tell her she’s spot on.

At least Picard did a fairly decent impersonation of a speech giver in Timescape but let’s not go into Deanna Troi’s Irish accent. It’s right up there with David Boreanaz in Angel. Funny how the smallest things become a mountain.

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