By and copyright of Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
“I got outside and realised I only had my hospital gown on which promptly fell off because it wasn’t tied at the back. I was naked…almost. When they do an operation like this, you’re fitted with a catheter. So there I am, naked as the day I was born with a big frigging catheter hanging between my legs. I am scundered, I thought to myself. I tried to remove it but my zombie fingers wouldn’t work. “
For far too long zombies have been seen as the monsters they are not so it’s time for a few changes! Welcome to Zombie Blues where you will discover what really goes on behind those dead eyes and shuffling walk. You will meet ten different zombies each with a story to tell. From Vegetarian Zombie to Kidney Trans[plant Zombie to The Zombie who would be King, you will reevaluate everything you thought you knew about the undead. You will finally get to hear their side of the story. What lies behind their tears and how did the apocalypse really begin? Enter if you dare because everything you knew about zombies is about to change.
VEGETARIAN ZOMBIE
Now don’t get a Save The Planet Zombie confused with a Vegetarian Zombie.
Save The Planet covers virtually everything; recycling, organic food, kill the plastic bag, you know the score. Me? I’m just a plain old vegetarian and people often get the two mixed up. I’ve no idea why but for some reason people think a vegetarian is all about saving the world and battling chemical trails in the sky etc.
Sorry, forgot to introduce myself. I’m Lee Quan and I live in a little town outside Japan. I suppose the name gave it away somewhat but there you go. Now as I was saying, I’m as much for saving the planet as anyone else but I’m not handing pamphlets out to people or battling whaling ships. I still use plastic bags but dispose of them correctly. People with more valour and time than me defend. I just feed everyone.
I guess it kind of started with my grandmother who was an ace cook.
She grew all her own stuff, rarely set foot in a supermarket unless she really, really needed to, bought spices etc from Mr Tsang’s store and never ever used anything artificial. She was a demon in the kitchen and woe betide anyone that got in her way or dared to offer advice on her recipes. She had a mouth on her like a machine gun only the language was much worse.
Even her most meagre looking dishes filled you up and her portions were generous. She was fiercely independent and her language would make Ramsey look like a choirboy but nobody could beat her cooking. MacDonald’s, KFC or the likes of the various pizza chains didn’t appeal. There was something about grandmother’s cooking that left you sated. No, actually it was more than that. Watching her cook was like seeing into her very soul. She poured every passionate fibrous part of her into every morsel. It was not a meal; it was a work of art that encompassed her as a person. To taste her food was to relish in years of culinary experience as sweet and succulent as the very foods she put together. There was nothing like it.
Now don’t think I’m a prude with food. I have tried the Big Mac and every other type of food you can think of but wasn’t fussed. I learned instead how to cook, as I said, from my grandmother and ended up opening my own restaurant.
Actually when I think about it, I didn’t just learn to cook from her. That statement reduces it to something standard and every day. No, she showed me how to think about the meal I was creating, how to focus on the benefits for the consumer. Putting together the ingredients was a formula that only a true lover of cuisine could see. Anyone can cook food but how many truly understood the nature and flow of it all? Do you think the people serving MacDonald’s really thought about the food or the impact on you? A meal should be part of your life experience, not fast or junk as is the norm these days. It should enrich you, inspire you just as she inspired me.
I went back to school and learned all about nutrition. Did you know how much hidden salt, sugar and saturated fat is in supposedly healthy food? I was horrified. Even my diabetic friend was advised by the in-house dietician on what to eat to help his blood sugars was shocked. Their healthy diet for him was riddled with hidden dangers especially to a diabetic. When I looked at what he was eating, I came up with a more natural alternative that not only helped his diabetes but you could literally see the change in his skin and appearance.
I now own a farm where we grow our own food stuffs. In fact, it’s a bigger version of grandmother’s allotment but the principles the same. Everything is natural with no additives and I love it. I feel so blessed to have learned so much from my grandmother and been able to put it into practice.
The Time Warriors and Beyond 