By and copyright Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zoombie Blues
Cover by Conaire McMullan
More Zombies, more trouble. Welcome to book 2 of Zombie Blues who give us their view on the world and life from behind undead eyes. This time round meet Diabetic Zombie, Racist Zombie, the Ice Queen and why is there a zombie with no teeth?
Available now on Amazon
By our rules any active member on an away mission aka convention must always get a signature and photo from any actor etc that has been associated with the show. Failure to do so is a mark on our record. Inwardly I was desperately trying to send telepathic messages to the others to see what money we had left to maybe salvage the situation. This first contact was definitely not turning out like it should be.
Words began tumbling out of my mouth.
‘I didn’t realise you have one pink eye like a bunny rabbit. How weird.’
No sooner had I said it than I wished I could suck them back in. He didn’t look happy. Rising to his feet I suddenly got a real good look at him. His balding hair and sharp angular face did make him a good option for alien makeup. I still didn’t know him though.
His face almost seemed to morph as his skin became mottled, his eyes suddenly burning with rage. I glanced at Vicky’s boobs and was reminded of an episode of Outer Limits and the aliens with the big heads. With a scream Vicky and her alien boobs took off. Turning back I saw that the Z Lister that really never stood out in the background even as an alien and now was sat beside the god Jason hoping some of his fans would rub off on him, was coming over the table at me.
Time froze like going into the Speed Force as a hundred thoughts flashed through my mind. Was this part of his act to get promotion? Was it a hidden camera show? Was he really pissed off we didn’t get his autograph? Did he hate bunny rabbits?
Jay stood staring at the approaching beast, his mouth uttering something unintelligible. Prick Jay suddenly grabbed me and threw me at theZ Lister. I squealed like a firework as he bit me hard. Even Vicky didn’t do that that night in the hottub. The screech I uttered was so loud I thought it was coming from somewhere else. I knew two things right then: Jay is a cowardly prick and has an ass like Jabba the Hutt and the Z Lister was a zombie. Technically there a third: I squeal like the Alien Queen getting her egg tube ripped off. I knew that already though because I went Rambo like Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse. I really should have shaved my balls before pulling that zip up.
First of all, zombies have no place at a sci fi convention and second of all, they have no business biting the people that did belong there. As I hit the floor I saw Jay stand screaming in terror as security launched themselves at the marauding Z Lister.
He was gnashing and clawing at the guards catching them with his teeth and claws. My mind was trying to warn them to get away from him but no words came. I was burning up wishing I had a dermal regenerator. If the Doctor was here, things would be fine. I’d be healed in no time and Z Lister would face justice for his crimes. Hope would be restored to the future. But all I could hear was the scream of the planet; the scream of Mother Nature herself wailing for her wounded world. I begged her not to do this to me and told her a zombie apocalypse should never have begun at a sci fi classic convention because it’s just so wrong. That’s as disgusting as being a Star Wars fan and liking Yesterday’s Enterprise.
Sacrilege.
The Time Warriors and Beyond 