By Owen Quinn author of the Time Warriors and Zombie Blues
Cover by Conaire McMullan
CROSS DRESSER ZOMBIE
The day the zombies rose will be remembered for just that; the rise of the zombies.
But for me, it was the day I could shed my skin and be the person I had always wanted to be for the entire world to see. Just like everything else in my life, the timing sucked.
Now my undead ass is walking the city without even the dignity of the heels I had chosen. My left shoe is missing while the right one seems stuck on with its broken heel. I think my ankle is twisted though or I have a cracked toe. Now when I walk, all 6 foot of my bulky frame is up and down like an Amsterdam tart. Add to that my wig is twisted on my head so the right side of my face has a permanent auburn covering, I look like Frankenstein’s frigging granny. Instead of becoming a butterfly, I became something that was slapped up the face with a frying pan.
But I digress. Let me start at the beginning which also became my end.
First up, my name is Frank Malone, resident of Belfast all my life. I have never married but shagged my way round the town. I came close a couple of times but never bothered. I play darts, love a pint and the craic with the lads. I’m a cage fighter and charity worker. I’ve a hard man rep, afraid of no-one and would knock the bollocks clean out of anyone that looked at me the wrong way. When people look at me they see the black leather jacket, baldy head and the gold chains. They see a hardman.
But when I look in the mirror I see someone else entirely. No-one knows, no-one has ever even suspected, not even my ma, and she’s sharp as a pin. At forty six, it’s not a big deal these days but it reduces me to jelly to think if anyone found out.
I like wearing women’s clothes. Simple as that.
Maybe I’ve always been this way. I’m not gay nor have any intentions of getting the three piece out and a gas oven put in. I like shagging but the feel of those clothes on my body just makes me so content. When I look at myself in the mirror in full get up, it’s my world. Problem is, that world has never left my bedroom or mouth. My ma stays out of my room because I bung her the money for bingo 4 times a week so I can become Majella. Those times when she isn’t there are heaven and I can try different outfits without fear of her walking in. Other people’s privacy is not a priority for my ma as most of you will probably identify with when it comes to mothers.
I’m not sure when it became part of me but it was always there. I never looked at my ma’s catalogue in the same way as she did. I flicked through the women’s section and wondered what it would feel like to be dressed as they were. It looked so elegant and comfortable that I yearned for it. But my body didn’t exactly shout model material. I was bald, hairy chest and back and caught between muscle and sagginess in the waist area.
The first time I remember putting on a pair of knickers was when I was shagging Fiona Fisher when I was seventeen. I was staying at her place and been dating for a few months. As I said, I’m not gay. I love sex with women and Fiona was a goer. She would lick my bald head when she got excited and all I could picture was her slipping a wig on my bonnet. Anyway, I got up for a piss and was standing there trying to hit the side of the bowl so she couldn’t hear the crash of urine on water. (It sounds louder somehow at three in the morning.)
As I washed my hands, I saw knickers and a bra drying on the radiator.
My heart raced. My breathing quickened. The compulsion was too much. I had to do it. Trembling, I slipped her knickers on first and stared at myself in the mirror barely containing my excitement. They were far too small but it felt right. It felt normal to me. I slipped on her bra next even though it didn’t fit and couldn’t believe the rush I felt. This was what I had been missing all my life.
Story from Zombie Blues Volume 1 available here at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Zombie-Blues-Owen-Quinn/dp/1717802257/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=owen+quinn+zombie+blues&qid=1620480010&sr=8-1
The Time Warriors and Beyond 